For your present, here's Today's Forgotten English!
A party of pleasure, differing from a picnic in that it occupies several days instead of one.--Robert Hunter's Encyclopaedic Dictionary, 1894
Pleasure Cruise Runs Amok
On this date in 1536, Capt. Richard Hore and 120 passengers, including thirty male aristocrats and crew, departed England in two chartered ships on the first known sightseeing trip to the New World. But this poorly planned voyage became a debacle. The shipboard edibles proved to be grossly inadequate, so when the vessel docked in Newfoundland desperate attempts were made to scrounge meals from the unfamiliar flora and fauna. Further, the captain's log revealed that a number of famished travelers not only lost their sense of adventure but also began feasting on their shipmates -- prompting Hore to deliver a talk discouraging the consumption of human flesh. Fortunately, a French vessel happened along, and its crew provided nourishment and return passage for the stranded tourists -- albeit unwillingly.
"Mr. Howell? Why are you looking at me like that? Skipper? SKIPPER???"