?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Things That Make You Go "Buh?"

If the minivan about a pine cone usually competes with a mortician over the support group, then a skyscraper hides. Any sandwich can accurately sanitize an imaginative deficit, but it takes a real fruit cake to avoid contact with the scythe. The cab driver for an industrial complex ostensibly is a big fan of a grain of sand. A hockey player seeks a steam engine. Now and then, an asteroid near a paper napkin pees on the boiled warranty.


Is it my imagination, or is spam getting weirder?

Telemarketers should try this technique, I think. Just for the entertainment value.

-The Gneech

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
dennisthetiger
Oct. 29th, 2006 05:04 pm (UTC)
Man, I don't know about you, but I don't want nobody peeing on my boiled warranties. I'm trying to eat them, already!
exatron
Oct. 29th, 2006 05:21 pm (UTC)
That sounds a rant from a crazy homeless guy.
torakiyoshi
Oct. 30th, 2006 03:16 am (UTC)
I've heard that guy. He's a regular at Chicken and More.

Buggrit, buggrit... Millenium hand and shrimp!

Have teh best

-=TK
3catsjackson
Oct. 29th, 2006 05:22 pm (UTC)
Wait a minute... those spammers ripped off my prose! That was from the chase scene in chapter 17 of my unpublished wombat, "The Filibustering Teaspoon Also Alliterates Asymptotes Acorrectly". I'm presently calling my dancing tomato lawyer on the telekinetic coat hanger device.
torakiyoshi
Oct. 30th, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
Did you also write this?

Have teh best

-=TK
wbwolf
Oct. 29th, 2006 05:59 pm (UTC)
Any sandwich can accurately sanitize an imaginative deficit, but it takes a real fruit cake to avoid contact with the scythe.

Truer words were never said.
ben_mouse
Oct. 29th, 2006 06:24 pm (UTC)
Heck, I'm contemplating starting the nwesgroup "alt.fan.grainofsand."
ben_mouse
Oct. 29th, 2006 06:26 pm (UTC)
...which of course is different from a -newsgroup.- :P
the_lizard_rat
Oct. 29th, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I read that and immedately thought of Squash, actually. Seems like something like that would be going through his head normally...

Something like that would be prime fodder for writing a story --- trying to make all that WORK. Talk about a challenge :)

Lizard Rat out.
Boiling Warrenties in Albany NY
sirfox
Oct. 29th, 2006 08:11 pm (UTC)
no, no... you've got it wrong.

WE should try it on the telemarketers.

"Hello?"

"good afternoon sir! i'm calling to offer you a prem-"

*interrupt* "If it takes ten thousand pancakes to shingle a doghouse, how long will it take a fly with a wooden leg to kick a hole through a pickle?"

"um, uh.. sir i.."

"the answer is a bicycle, because vests don't have sleeves." *hangup*
jim_lane
Oct. 29th, 2006 08:51 pm (UTC)
Sounds like a perfectly normal modern math question to me--- ]};-)
hossblacksilver
Oct. 30th, 2006 06:07 am (UTC)
Well, first off, a real fruit cake seems to sum it right up.

But I got these type of e-mails about a year back. I kept on thinking of the animated Men in Black and a little something they called "QuickClones", fast made, short lived and always made no sense in the last 30-60 seconds before melt-down.
c_eagle
Oct. 30th, 2006 06:26 am (UTC)
They've reworked all the circuitry and programming, and now work off of Mad-libs exclusively...
stilghar
Oct. 30th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
Now I'm almost sad that my spam filter is so efficient.

Almost.
;)
stilghar
Oct. 30th, 2006 07:43 am (UTC)
Besides, warranties are best when fried or baked. Boiling makes the butterflies cry.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

August 2019
S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow