John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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Feeling Much Better

My mood is better today than it has been for the past several days, although I have no idea why. Yes, it's finally really raining today, and yes, it was nice to have the day off yesterday, but I was pretty down all day and didn't get much accomplished. Aside from yesterday's rather long ramble and drawing a couple of strips, I spent most of the day staring at websites and pondering my various creative projects.

As you may or may not know, I used to write stuff for various gaming companies; my published credits include stuff for Mage, The Street Fighter Storytelling Game, and The World of Indiana Jones. It's been a long time since I did any, and lately I've been wanting to get back into it as part of my larger desire to do more writing. The basic problem is a conflict of time.

So I've been trying to figure out if there's any way I can more effeciently use what time I have. One major thing that would help is if I could stop spending so much time being neurotic about stuff. It's a major drain on my energy and my free time to be fretting, angsting, or moping when I could be drawing, writing, or doing research.

Of course, if it was as easy as just flipping a switch, I would have done that already. ("Hey, here's your problem! Somebody's set you to 'Neurotic Mode.' Lemme just fix that." *click*) Sometimes I can break out of a funk with rationality, sometimes with sheer willpower, sometimes by putting on some music and dancing around like a fool, and sometimes I just get a pleasant suprise from outside or make a neat discovery that perks me up. But a lot of times, I just sorta lurk around unhappily, trying without success to apply the usual methods.

I sorta see my moody aspect as being this big, amorphic, rubbery parasitic thing that periodically materializes and sits on my back, weighing me down and sapping my energy. Being rubbery makes it resistant to cattle prods, and it's so massive and shapeless that's hard to wrestle with. It just sorta sits there, looking pathetic, going, "Me saaaaaaaad! Pay attention to meeeeeeee!"

Ugh, I'm giving myself the creeps.

Anyway, since I'm better today, I need to try to catch up on as much stuff as I can that didn't get done while I was playing courier boy or fighting off Ol' Squishy (that's what I'm going to call the amorphic thing from now on, I think). Tomorrow is Dragon*Con Day, and I've got some stuff to get done before then. I'm hoping that work continues to leave me alone today, so I can make all the required phone calls and maybe actually get some stuff done.

Wish me luck!

-The Gneech
Tags: deep thoughts, writing

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