In other words, Buddha was in da house.
So I woke up laurie_robey and we immediately started doing a room-by-room "check it and close the door behind us" sweep. Fortunately, Buddha was not in either the laundry room (where he could have hidden out forever behind the water heater) or in the Bowflex room (which is currently still a maze of boxes). So the two big "problem rooms" were clean.
Turns out he was in the studio, having shoved himself behind the heaviest of the gaming bookshelves. (Naturally -- if you were going to shove yourself behind a bookshelf, would you choose the lighter one?) So we put some food in the garage, shifted some books off the shelf, and proceeded to shuffle it away from the wall. The moment we got enough space for me to put my head and one arm behind, all I could see was a rapidly-disappearing tail as he was making a break for it.
But once out ... he didn't have anywhere to go except to run around the studio, kitchen, and living room, or cheese it into the garage. With Laurie to the right of him and me to the left and side of him, the garage was his most attractive option and into it he went.
We promptly closed the door, put his dose of antibiotics into the food since he probably won't be hungry in the morning, cooed at him to calm him down a bit, and wished him goodnight.
Honestly. We're such a pair of meanies.
And now, back to bed.