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"So, can I get anything else for you guys?" asked the waitress.

"I'm fine," said Brigid.

"Er, actually," said Greg, lifting his glass slightly and somewhat apologetically, "this seems to be fruit punch. I asked for iced tea."

"That is iced tea," said the waitress.

"Er, no," said Greg. "It's quite definitely fruit punch."

"It has to be iced tea," said the waitress. "It's brown. Besides, we don't carry fruit punch."

"It sure tastes like fruit punch," said Greg.

"Oh!" said the waitress, pointing a finger in the air. "That's because it's 'Raspberry Splash' iced tea."

The corner of Greg's mouth twitched a little and his brow furrowed. "So it's fruit punch with a little tea in it, you mean. Could I just get some plain iced tea, please?"

"You don't like the Raspberry Splash?"


"Okay, I'll get you the other tea we have."


The waitress took the glass and wandered off. A few minutes later, she came back with another glass that looked identical. "Here you go," she said.

Greg took a sip, and instantly his face contorted into a spasm of shock and revulsion. "Good God!" he said. "What is that? I asked for iced tea!"

"That is iced tea!" said the waitress. "You didn't like the Raspberry Splash, so I brought you the 'Mango Passion Splash' iced tea instead!"

Greg, opening and closing his mouth rapidly and sticking his tongue into the air, pleaded, "Can't you just bring me some 'Iced Tea Splash' iced tea?"

The waitress laughed. "You're funny!" she said, and headed for another table.

-The Gneech

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( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 14th, 2007 05:47 pm (UTC)
That's what you get for hanging around with me!
Jun. 14th, 2007 05:50 pm (UTC)

Sadly, I've almost had that conversation.

I did give up on one supplier of bottled iced tea as they didn't get the concept of unsweetened tea. They had flavored tea, sweetened tea, and artificially sweetened tea. But no tea that was left alone. Their competitor got my business.

Jun. 14th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
in California...
it's actually pretty easy to get unsweetened Lipton in bottles. I personally like that OR the other extreme---extra sweet tea---and that is almost impossible to get out here...

when it comes to tea, though, I think that the Southerners have it right...stuff that you can strip paint with!

Jun. 14th, 2007 06:03 pm (UTC)
that person is not getting a tip!
but yes, go to Bennigan's and you have two choices. Very bad Lipton unsweetened (and they don't have splenda) or raspberry iced tea which does taste a bit like fruit punch! My local Taco Bell also no longer carries plain iced tea either....

Intel Starbucks HO...

Jun. 14th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
Re: that person is not getting a tip!
*Ears perk up* Intel Starbucks? Are you a fellow Intellite? If so, which campus? (Ronler Acres, here.)
Jun. 14th, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
Re: that person is not getting a tip!
I'm not employed by Intel, but there is a Starbucks directly across from Intel's Montague/Mission College campus in Santa Clara, California. Mako called it the "Intel Starbucks" and it's kinda stuck....

So, if you're in need of caffeine---this is a good place...it's not Gneech approved yet, though!

Jun. 16th, 2007 03:32 am (UTC)
Re: that person is not getting a tip!
Ah. Santa Clara is a little bit far for me to go in search of caffeine - especially as I don't drive. I'm up here just to the west of Portland, myself. The reason I perked up at that was that there actually is a Starbucks franchise in the cafeteria at the site where I toil. I've heard that a couple of the other sites around here have the same deal, and the mention made me curious about whether you were in the area.
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)
i feel his pain.
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:32 pm (UTC)
The most I prefer in my tea is a bit of lemon thank you very much...

...unless it's bottled, then oddly, I prefer the sweetened kind. (Arizona Tea makes a very decent sweet tea)

And if you ever find yourself in Canada, don't bother to ask for iced tea; all I've ever found is instant. On the other hand, you don't get funny looks when you order cream with your hot tea....
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Instant. Eeeeeeew.
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
Arizona Sweet Tea will do in a pinch...
but instant--yikes!...I'll make my own sweet tea at the table!

Jun. 15th, 2007 06:45 am (UTC)
most of the restaurants (as opposed to fast food joints) I frequent do make their own iced tea - from brew. As so I. :)
Jun. 15th, 2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
It might be a East Coast/West Coast thing. All the restaurants I've found in BC serve only instant tea. On the other hand, the US West Coast, even many fast food places have brewed ice tea.
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC)
I had that trouble with green tea for awhile; every cafe I went, it was jasmine scented green tea, or lemon, or... something else! Whatever was wrong with good ol' plain green tea?

The problem seems to have passed now though. Hurrah!
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
Um, because green tea tastes really bad? Maybe?
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:59 pm (UTC)
It does not! I drink plain green tea all the time :p It has quite a lovely natural flavour without being messed about with...
Jun. 14th, 2007 07:26 pm (UTC)
a nice minty flavor....at least the tazo brands!

Jun. 14th, 2007 08:28 pm (UTC)
Then does Bennehoohahs serve good green tea? The dinner was really expensive and I tried my best to enjoy it all.
Jun. 14th, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
The way I remember it, the green tea at Benny Ho-hos was fine.
Jun. 14th, 2007 06:56 pm (UTC)
I'll have to pass this on to my mother...she VERY frequently has this problem...
Jun. 14th, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC)
Welcome to Canada!!

and my nightmare......

Jun. 14th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Because I work...
...in a cafe, I'm forced to sell 6 different kinds of iced tea. Not only are the 5 different flavours, but I must also sell versions in glass bottles AND in plastic bottles. SO a customer wants an iced tea. Is that in lemon, green, raspberry, calorie-free, or lime? And is it in glass or plastic?

Jun. 15th, 2007 12:31 am (UTC)
I don't drink tea, but I do enjoy a burger every now and then... on a bun... a PLAIN bun... without any CHEESE baked into the crust... which is why I apparently can never have a burger at IHOP ever again.

(Not that IHOP is anywhere near the top of the list when I'm pondering places to go for a burger, anyway.)
Jun. 15th, 2007 06:42 am (UTC)
I'm with Greg on this one.... much as I occassionally like the fancy schmancy flavoured things... sometimes ya just want it PLAIN. And if that's what I order, that's what I want. Period.

On the other hand, I used to be tres amused by Americans who were so appalled that Canadians always serve ice tea sweetened, and I have to remember when in the U.S. that usually the ice tea comes without sweetener. But now having switched from sugar to splenda or aspartame, I am beginning to appreciate being able to add my own sweetener.
Jun. 15th, 2007 10:30 am (UTC)
Really, it depends on where you are in the U.S. Most southerners wouldn't dream of having unsweetened tea, although you can usually get it either way in restaurants in the south. McDonald's has recently started serving both sweetened and unsweetened, and it's actually brewed, not the stuff sold by the soft drink companies.
Jun. 15th, 2007 07:40 am (UTC)
I can only wonder if you've been channeling Denis Leary... ^_^
Jun. 15th, 2007 02:01 pm (UTC)
Yuck. I forsee a waitress who's not getting a tip. Or maybe even having someone get up and walk out of the restaurant. "You're funny!" indeed.

As for me... Tea. Earl Gray. Hot. (With two sugars.)

Jul. 12th, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC)
*sigh* You really do have to go to Japan if you want decent green tea.

Besides, the only fruits that go well with iced tea are lemon, blueberry and pomegranate. What sort of barbarian puts raspberry in tea?
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

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