John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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Well, it's been a pleasant holiday for me. :) I got some very cool loot, including an espresso machine from Mrs. Gneech, which is the season's "Wow!" gift for me. :) I visited some relatives, hung out with friends, and so forth ... there weren't any Magic Moments, so to speak, but there weren't any House of Usher Moments either, which in my mind counts as an improvement. :)

It's a big, big improvement over my holiday last year. I was mired down in depression, personal problems, and more job stress than is healthy for anybody. It's got me reflecting on how my year has gone, which is of course a popular activity for the holidays.

Finally, at 31 years of age*, I "became a man" this past year. :) And about time, too!

What I mean by that, is that I became an independent adult, making my own decisions about life based on what I want, what I think, how I feel, rather than doing whatever is expected of me, is "nice," or is "allowed" by the other people in my life or society at large.

There are things about my life that still need to change, and things in my "life situation" as it were that I'm not happy with. However, it's my choice that these things are still the way they are now, because I want to fix them the right way, which takes time, rather than having a knee-jerk panic reaction to trouble that just makes things worse.

I am living my life deliberately now, with more self-knowledge and self-possession than I've ever had. And that, more than anything else, is what's made it a happy holiday for me. It really is _my_ life, now ... which is a great feeling. :)

-The Gneech

*I am 32 now ... I was 31 when all this stuff happened. :) Long story that isn't quite ready for public consumption yet. I'll write about it here someday, I imagine.
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