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A Surreal End to My Day

Well, it was snowing all afternoon, which already makes things a little weird around here. Fortunately, it wasn't "OMG everybody get out and block all the ROADDSSS!!!11" snow, just white stuff blowing around in the air.

So laurie_robey and I left work at 4:00 and took me over to the Reston MRI Center, where I took off my trousers and put on a gown with weird little blue gears on it [1], and totally didn't fit into the MRI machine.

Well, part of me fit into it -- my head and neck. Once they hit my shoulders, it was "No way, José!" So they put me into the queue for the machine they put claustrophobics into. Roughly ten minutes later, I was on my back and fed feet-first into a giant yellow waffle iron, wearing not-particularly-noise-canceling headphones that were playing some "All commercials, all the time!" radio station.

The technician asked me what kind of music I wanted to hear, so I said "classical." At which point the commercials changed to romantic ballads in Spanish.

Um.

The next 13-18 minutes consisted of me doing my best to hold absolutely still, staying as relaxed as I could without letting my limbs flop around, listening to "Unchained Melody" sung in Español while somebody outside jackhammered on the building foundation they ran current through a little rack mounted over my lower abdomen and took scans of the magnetic field.

The worst part of the experience was the inevitable itchy nose you always get when you're not allowed to move. The second-worst part of the experience was the one song that was sung in English, a revolting piece of mush about "Mother, please forgive the times I made you cry, I hope you'd be proud if you could see me now, I miss you so much..." internet platitude variety. I was a little worried that I might hurl on the spot, spoiling not only my scan but the bits of my shirt not covered by the gown. Fortunately, it had been five hours since lunch and there wasn't much real danger of that.

Mainly, I spent the whole time either doing my best to meditate (not easy with BDDDDAAATTDTDAAAATTTT!!! and "Te quieroooooooooo!!!" shaking my teeth), or pondering the surreality of the situation. And wishing I had a blanket over my feet.

Anyway, my doc should have the results by Friday, and I have the intravenous ultrasound next week. So we'll see what we can see.

-The Gneech

[1] Interesting study in generic applicability: they were little blue gears, so they could seem masculine, but they were also small and from a distance looked like flowers, so they could seem feminine. The science of "offending nobody" really has jumped light-years in the past decade, hasn't it?

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
joeygatorman
Feb. 21st, 2008 12:29 am (UTC)
The second-worst part of the experience was the one song that was sung in English, a revolting piece of mush about "Mother, please forgive the times I made you cry, I hope you'd be proud if you could see me now, I miss you so much..."

aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here
aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here
aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here
aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here aor is good aor is great aor is here

...sorry, what were you saying again? o\../O
the_gneech
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:58 am (UTC)
I don't know, I wasn't listening. ;P

-TG
walkertxkitty
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:05 am (UTC)
I can sympathize. Not only am I too big for most MRIs but I'm also extremely claustrophobic. Usually the part needing scanned is my head so that makes it worse because they put this little cage-like thing over you to keep it still.

Forty-five minutes of pure hell while I chant "OMG please don't scream" over and over...and yes, I wanted a blanket for my feet too. I don't know why, but MRI and CT always make them cold.

Hopefully the tests will show something which can be fixed easily and as painlessly as possible. I'm thinking about you.
the_gneech
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
Thanks! :) All happy thoughts appreciated.

-TG
susandeer
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
With the insanity here, I'd completely forgot about your test today. @:( I've got my fingers crossed for you.
the_gneech
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
I'd say your insanity takes precedence. :) Thanks nonetheless!

-The Gneech
cyberhorn
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:37 am (UTC)
well im glad it went well as could be

least you got music of a 'kind' all dragon got was ear plugs and his own thoughts i told ya it wasnt quiet 'chuckles'
the_gneech
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
I think I would have preferred earplugs! :D

-TG
cyberhorn
Feb. 21st, 2008 03:11 am (UTC)
ROFL!
jim_lane
Feb. 21st, 2008 03:39 am (UTC)
If they find Jimmy Hoffa hiding out, be sure to let us know--- };-)

(Good luck! Hope nothing scary shows up!)
hantamouse
Feb. 21st, 2008 04:03 am (UTC)
"BDDDDAAATTDTDAAAATTTT"
Thats got to be a DNA sequence for something. No, wait, half the letters are wrong.
Doesn't matter if the Bs are Cs and Ds are Gs or otherways round - its too short to code for anything useful, but it would probably be good to eat and make your coffee taste funny.

Sleep. I need sleep.
laurie_robey
Feb. 21st, 2008 10:35 am (UTC)
It's the genes that are different between a fly and a human.
exatron
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:50 pm (UTC)
<voice style="monotone">ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD</voice>

*clap* *clap*
camstone
Feb. 21st, 2008 04:23 am (UTC)
I wanna take a ride in the loud machine next!
I wanna take a ride in the loud machine next!
I wanna take a ride in the loud machine next!
laurie_robey
Feb. 21st, 2008 10:34 am (UTC)
Got a couple thousand dollars in quarters?
alaskawolf
Feb. 21st, 2008 05:47 am (UTC)
i hope the test results are good ones for you. i had to stay in a MRI machine for almost two hours straight last year and the noise was pretty crazy and after awhile those things can get pretty darn hot too
torakiyoshi
Feb. 21st, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
So far I haven't needed one, thank goodness. My mom had one of her chest, which meant she also had to hold her breath. Not fun, she said.

Have the best

-=Kiyoshi
c_eagle
Feb. 21st, 2008 10:49 am (UTC)
inevitable itchy nose
.... just like being in a mascot suit! :D
kamau_d_lyon
Feb. 21st, 2008 01:03 pm (UTC)
Good luck with the results. Hopefully it will show something that a quick and easy fix for you.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

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