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Mailbag Day!

And what a bag of mail it is! Let's get right into it...

Dear Gneech,
As you seem to be an expert on it, what's the difference between a "geek" and a "nerd"?
P. Parker
New York, NY


Well, it's a fine distinction, P.P., but I'll summarize it like this:

GEEKS
GameMaster: Okay, your R2 unit gets up into its socket on the X-Wing, and--
Player 1: Hey, I've always wondered, how does R2 get up there when you're not at a hangar bay with a crane?
Player 2: Obviously, he climbs up there with his various stubby little arms, which takes forever and looks ridiculous.
All: *chuckle*
GameMaster: Okay, your R2 unit climbs up to its socket on the X-Wing, which takes forever and looks ridiculous, and you prepare for takeoff. Meanwhile...

NERDS
GameMaster: Okay, your R2 unit gets up into its socket on the X-Wing, and--
Player 1: Hey, I've always wondered, how does an R2 unit get up there when you're not at a hangar bay with a crane?
Player 2: Obviously, he climbs up there with his various stubby little arms, which takes forever and looks ridiculous.
Player 1: That's just stupid. Obviously, he's got those little booster jets from Episode II, and uses those to fly up.
Player 2: No, Star Wars: Incredible Cross-Sections specifically states that the jets are a nonstandard modification to R2 units, that were installed by the Naboo engineers for Padmé. So you can't go by Artoo as the standard for any old generic R2 unit.
GameMaster: Well, hold on, Star Wars: The Ultimate Guide to Droids says that the jets DO come standard on R2 units, but that they tend to wear out and become unusable after about 15 years or so, which is why you never see Artoo using them in the classic trilogy.
Player 2: That and budgets.
GameMaster: Well, yeah.
Player 1: Well, maybe he has a little repulsor unit, you know, like interrogation droids or probe droids.
Player 2: That's dumb. If Artoo had a repulsor, why would he have jets?
Player 1: Do you really think those two little butane torches on his legs were strong enough to lift a heavy droid up in the air? No, he has the repulsor for lift, and the jets are just for maneuvering.
Player 2: Then why don't you see him floating around all the time like V.I.N.C.E.N.T. from The Black Hole?
(etc., etc., ad nauseam)

Hope that makes it more clear!

-The Gneech

Dear The Gneech:
I did not have sex with that woman!
Honestly,
B. Clinton


What a coincidence! Neither did I! [1]

-The Gneech

Dear Gneech,
I work in an office where there is constant jackhammering going on due to building renovations. Is there some way I can keep from going all crazygonuts and losing it all together?
Shake,
Rattleand Roll


I recommend working from home from now on. Particularly if you have a cat.

-The Gneech

Dear Mr. The Gneech,
If you blow in while I blow out, who will blow the candle out? If you blow hot and I blow cold, we'll come to blows before we're old.
W. Kelly
Beyond the Grave


Creepy, yet charming.

-The Gneech

[1] Rejected responses included:
* And I care, because...?
* Are you sure? It was dark, you might have mistaken her for someone else.
* Why not? Everyone else did!

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
the_gneech
Mar. 17th, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC)
Can you blame me?

-TG
kylet
Mar. 17th, 2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
For a second I thought you wrote R. Kelly, which adds a whole 'nother creepy meaning to that passage XD
the_gneech
Mar. 17th, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC)
The guy who sang "I Believe I Can Fly"? Guh. 0.o

-TG
kylet
Mar. 17th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
Among other notorieties, yes.
raishi_fox
Mar. 17th, 2008 02:51 pm (UTC)
I love the first one. My girlfriend was just grilling me on that yesterday. The best I could come up with was that geeks are into "hobby" kind of activities, like gaming, anime, and the like, while nerds tend to take more of an academic angle; mathematics, physics, etc.

Your explanation is definitely more fun. I'll have to link her to it, especially since she's a Star Wars girl herself.
the_gneech
Mar. 17th, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC)
Pleased to be of service!

-The Gneech
electronin
Mar. 17th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
They can't use the repulsor to float all the time because it drains power. I know that and I don't even care about Star Wars.
camstone
Mar. 17th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
I so have to get myself on more catalog mailing lists...
torakiyoshi
Mar. 17th, 2008 05:27 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you rejected that third response. I didn't have sex with her either, so it wouldn't be "everyone" else.

-=TK
torakiyoshi
Mar. 18th, 2008 04:44 am (UTC)
Dear Gneech,
I work in an office where there is constant jackhammering going on due to building renovations. Is there some way I can keep from going all crazygonuts and losing it all together?
Shake,
Rattleand Roll


Hmm... Crazygonuts, eh?



-=TK
genecatlow
Mar. 17th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
Actually, West Coast (Silicon Valley) geeks and nerds would fall into both categories quite often. A well-known computer repair service here is known as "Geek Squad" and has police-inspired VW Beetles they tool around in. About the only real way to tell the difference here is to look for fashion traits. Geek clothing fits but is NEVER trendy, nerd clothing fits neither category 99% of the time. T-shirts of fave movie/TV genres worn by geeks will generally be new, those worn by nerds are often faded into unrecognizability. And of course, the classic tip-off: glasses. If the bridge is broken, geeks stand a 50/50 chance of getting a new pair. Nerds NEVER do - ever. Tape on the bridge of glasses can be said to be the ultimate in nerd chic.
hossblacksilver
Mar. 18th, 2008 06:06 am (UTC)
We've got them (Geek Squad) here on the east coast as well. Usually out of the local Best Buy. Hence, why I won't use them.
elektron
Apr. 1st, 2008 12:02 am (UTC)
How about the ones who don't wear glasses?
felinaeus
Mar. 17th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
Oh gods I needed that laugh today.

And strangely enough, I remember being a witness to a similar argument once... but then the pizza arrived and they all forgot about it.
hossblacksilver
Mar. 18th, 2008 06:08 am (UTC)
To heck with repulsors in the R2s, why was there only one example of the expanded universe of an R2 unit with a vocabulator?
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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