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My Leg, The Windows, and Panic Attacks

I mentioned a while back that my doctor prescribed Lyrica for my leg pains, right? This is normally a drug prescribed to diabetics for neuropathy, fibromyalagia, and a variety of other nerve conditions. I'm not diabetic, but all the evidence re: my leg pains suggests a nervous-system-related cause, so this was a band-aid 'til I got to a neurologist.

Lyrica, however, has been known to have side-effects ... which include anxiety, difficulty concentrating, depression, and feeling "off" generally.

And guess who's a recovering depressive. I'll give you a hint, you're reading his LiveJournal.

I've got all those side-effects. And basically, I've been freaking out. I'm cranky, I'm wandering around in a daze, and at any given moment I'm having trouble remembering what I was thinking the moment before. Every little thing bugs me, and every little annoyance seems like a huge catastrophe.

As I described it to laurie_robey, I feel like I'm wearing one of those devices from the Kurt Vonnegut story, that makes you stupid.

So if you toss into this lovely mental soup an upcoming weekend spent at the in-laws (instead of at home working on my stuff), a weekend spent doting on my parents for their 60th wedding anniversary (instead of at home working on my stuff), windows being installed a month ahead of schedule and requiring a drastic rearranging of the furniture, a long-forgotten commission coming out of the past and saying "Hey, why didn't you finish me?", and work being unusually up-in-your-facey, you end up with a Gneech who posts panicked, frazzled things to his LJ.

We did call back re: the windows and got it pushed back to the last week of April, giving us a little more prep time. We also got clarification on the distance needed. It's still going to require some major rearranging, particularly of the library, but it's not quite as dire as shifting everything out of the house to a storage unit as I thought.

For the record, the windows are Pella, being bought directly from the manufacturer (and installed by their direct distributor) during a spring sale. We're getting a great deal on one of the best lines from Consumer Reports' highest rated brand (approx. $10k for every window in the house plus the sliding doors on the back) -- telling the windows people to take a hike because they're installing the windows a month early ain't gonna happen. It'd be like turning down a Lexus that you can get for the price of a Ford Pinto, because the dealer doesn't have the color you want.

The problem was that these medications are finding those old, well-worn depression/anxiety neurons and getting them all a-twitter, and it's making me behave like someone else. Right now I'm weighing in my mind whether the treatment is worse than the condition -- waking up two or three times a night because some gremlin is sticking red-hot pins into my leg, versus mild discomfort combined with my brain misfiring. It's not an easy choice. I had in mind to keep taking the Lyrica and hold on 'til I could get to the neurologist -- but my distracted and scattered brain keeps forgetting to call and make the appointment until it's night or the weekend and too late.

So anyway, if I seem to be acting wildly out of character, it's not your imagination, I am. If you encounter me seeming like I'm not myself, please point it out and I'll try to correct it. I'm getting a better handle on realizing when it's happening myself and fixing it, but when it's your own brain misfiring that makes it kind of hard to tell.

-The Gneech



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 22nd, 2008 02:03 am (UTC)
I know how you feel...
I'm pretty depressive myself, but I blame that on the Ritalin diet I was forcefed 4 times a day for almost a decade as a kid (which did unforseen "unique" things to me, and which is why now I never put any sort of drugs in my system, no matter how beneficial).

Hang in there, Gneech. At least Buddha can get in your lap to keep you company and calm ya down. :)

Ageis J. Hyena, signing off, over and out.
Mar. 22nd, 2008 02:10 am (UTC)
mental note:
remind John to call Neurologist on Monday if he hasn't done so already...

safe trip south sir..

Mar. 22nd, 2008 04:44 am (UTC)
Re: mental note:
The Shadowvixen and I will be down in the Bay Area this Monday evening. If you are available, we'd love to see you for dinner and introduce you to Alexis. Hope you are doing well!

Mar. 22nd, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
Give my sis a ring. Best case, it's a pinched nerve she can release, saving you from the terrors of pharmaceutical splash damage.
Mar. 22nd, 2008 12:58 pm (UTC)
Yes, I think we'll be doing that very soon. The side effects of Lyrica are just too severe. Even if she can't help with the leg, John's back would probably benefit.
Mar. 22nd, 2008 04:20 am (UTC)
Aw. Poor Gneech.

When they advertise all these new drugs and go through the adverse side effects at a million miles a minute, much of the time it makes me think that the things the drugs do to you are worse than the condition they're treating. You're the living embodiment of that sentiment. I hope things get better for ya.
Mar. 22nd, 2008 04:35 am (UTC)
Ooooh Pella!

/worked at lumber yard with contractors all the time..

I love Pella Windows and Doors! They are wonderfully constructed and beautiful to boot!

What did you get? Double pane, triple pane, sliding, crank or regular up and down ones? Did you get the kind with the blinds between the panes of glass?

/waaay too excited about windows.

Be praying for you.
Mar. 22nd, 2008 01:03 pm (UTC)
Well, we didn't get the super-fancy Pella windows. We got the "Impervia" fiberglass, double-paned with low-e gas in between. The original windows are 1974 aluminum, single pane, sliding windows. So in order to keep costs down, we kept the sliding windows. They're a little too wide for the double-hung windows.

Consumer Reports rated the Pella Impervia windows some of the best, but they're still affordable, so that's what we got. The windows are going have no grilles on them, except for the kitchen and studio windows (the two largest ones) are going to have 9-lite Prarie grilles. The patio sliding door is wooden (Proline, I think?) and will have traditional grilles on it.
Mar. 22nd, 2008 04:43 am (UTC)
Hope you get it all worked out so that you feel like yourself again without the nighttime gremlins!
Mar. 22nd, 2008 07:07 am (UTC)
Here's wishing you the best in getting to that feeling of certainty again, bud!
Mar. 23rd, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
Gneech, wishing you, Lythandra and Buddha the best.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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