So today I called again, only to be told, "Uh, no, Dr. Bahadori is not a neurologist. He's an ear, nose, and throat specialist. What were you thinking?"
So I called my doctor's office back and said, "WTF neurologist." They sighed, rolled their eyes, and said, "No, of course Dr. Bahadori's not a nuerologist, what were you thinking? You want Dr. Cintron, duh!"
So I called Dr. Cintron's office. Their happy little recording said, "To make an appointment, go to our website! 'kthxbye."
So I went to their website and filled out their form asking them to pretty please call me back so I can have an appointment to kill the gremlin who keeps lighting my leg on fire. Who knows, they might even call back. Someday.
Y'know, I'm a young, healthy, technologically-savvy type dude who speaks fluent English and has ready internet access. What the heck must this stuff be like for people who aren't in that situation?