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Expert Panel: Cartoonist's Claim to Be Too Sexy For Shirt Unfounded
A Special Report from The Morning /~* Star

Herndon, VA -- An independent panel of sexiness experts have unanimously
concluded that claims of local cartoonist and notorious weirdboy John "The
Gneech" Robey that he was "too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt,
so sexy it hurts" had, in fact, no basis in reality.

The panel, including Sigourney Weaver, Hugh Jackman, Angelina Jolie, Hugh
Grant, Kathy Ireland, various representatives from the Sexy Police, and Errol
Flynn (via psychic medium), issued a scathing point-by-point refutation of
Gneech's assertions, finding that he was:

  • Not too sexy for his shirt
  • Not so sexy it hurts
  • Not too sexy for Milan, New York, or Japan
  • Not too sexy for your party (and likely to disco dance)
  • Not too sexy for his car
  • Not too sexy by far
  • Not too sexy for his hat
  • Not too sexy for his cat
  • Not too sexy for his love
  • Not too sexy for this song
"And as for shaking his tush on the catwalk," said Jackman, "let's just not even go there, shall we?" What prompted Gneech to make such outrageous-but-easily-disproven claims has yet to be determined. When asked for comment, Gneech is reported to have told reporters that they turn him right round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round round round. It has been suggested that he may be a loony. More reports on the situation as it develops.

Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
chipuni
Apr. 29th, 2008 07:04 pm (UTC)
*The Intrepid Reporter immediately rushes off to discover who let the dogs out. Report at eleven.*
the_gneech
Apr. 29th, 2008 10:13 pm (UTC)
So who? Who? Who?

-The Gneech
kylet
Apr. 29th, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
I don't know what you mean.

I also only just figured out that the /~* is a morning star, initially I thought it was one of those substitutes for cuss words XD

Edited at 2008-04-29 08:03 pm (UTC)
the_gneech
Apr. 29th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
Mew?

-TG
kylet
Apr. 29th, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC)
The song says "I'm a model, you know what I mean."
the_gneech
Apr. 30th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
Oooooooh! :D

-TG
raemonde
Apr. 29th, 2008 07:23 pm (UTC)
] Round and round, even.

-Rob
the_gneech
Apr. 29th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
Like a windmill, baby.

-The Gneech
raemonde
Apr. 30th, 2008 12:56 am (UTC)
] Or a Ratt. (Video's worth it even if you're not into metal - for the cameo by Uncle Miltie if nothing else.)

-Rob
the_mcp
Apr. 29th, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
You, sir, are a very strange man. :)
the_gneech
Apr. 29th, 2008 10:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

-TG
(Deleted comment)
the_gneech
Apr. 29th, 2008 10:10 pm (UTC)
Actually, she exclaimed, "Yuck!" in a squeaky voice.

-The Gneech
dewhitton
Apr. 30th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
Did you get dizzy? Is your head spinning like a whirlpool?
the_gneech
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:42 am (UTC)
They traced my private number; now they want to move in a little bit closer.

-The Gneech
camstone
Apr. 30th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
It has been suggested that he may be a loony.

Those reporters don't miss much, do they?
jamesbarrett
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:32 am (UTC)
I think they get inside information, but that's just what I think. I've been known to be wrong :) -Frisk
the_gneech
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:41 am (UTC)
On a totally unrelated note, did you ever watch that Blackadder DVD? :)

-TG
paradisacorbasi
Apr. 30th, 2008 03:08 am (UTC)
I've seen you in your hat. I beg to differ.
the_gneech
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:40 am (UTC)
Turns out, my hat's too sexy for ME!

-The Gneech, whose hat didn't come home until late last night
rhanlav
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:23 am (UTC)
Hmm. I heard that The Gneech would:

  • Never gonna give you up

  • Never gonna let you down

  • Never gonna run around and desert you

  • Never gonna make you cry

  • Never gonna say goodbye

  • Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you


But thats just what I heard.

--Salen
the_gneech
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:38 am (UTC)
Y'know, I've heard about people being Rickroll'd, but I never thought it would happen to me.

-The Gneech

Edited at 2008-04-30 11:39 am (UTC)
rhanlav
Apr. 30th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm glad I could help... I think.

--Salen
kaysho
May. 9th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
*grins* Thanks for the good laugh. :)
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )

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