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Expert Panel: Cartoonist's Claim to Be Too Sexy For Shirt Unfounded
A Special Report from The Morning /~* Star

Herndon, VA -- An independent panel of sexiness experts have unanimously
concluded that claims of local cartoonist and notorious weirdboy John "The
Gneech" Robey that he was "too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt,
so sexy it hurts" had, in fact, no basis in reality.

The panel, including Sigourney Weaver, Hugh Jackman, Angelina Jolie, Hugh
Grant, Kathy Ireland, various representatives from the Sexy Police, and Errol
Flynn (via psychic medium), issued a scathing point-by-point refutation of
Gneech's assertions, finding that he was:

  • Not too sexy for his shirt
  • Not so sexy it hurts
  • Not too sexy for Milan, New York, or Japan
  • Not too sexy for your party (and likely to disco dance)
  • Not too sexy for his car
  • Not too sexy by far
  • Not too sexy for his hat
  • Not too sexy for his cat
  • Not too sexy for his love
  • Not too sexy for this song
"And as for shaking his tush on the catwalk," said Jackman, "let's just not even go there, shall we?" What prompted Gneech to make such outrageous-but-easily-disproven claims has yet to be determined. When asked for comment, Gneech is reported to have told reporters that they turn him right round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round round round. It has been suggested that he may be a loony. More reports on the situation as it develops.


Apr. 30th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
Did you get dizzy? Is your head spinning like a whirlpool?
Apr. 30th, 2008 11:42 am (UTC)
They traced my private number; now they want to move in a little bit closer.

-The Gneech

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