John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey
the_gneech

  • Mood:

Round and Round and Up and Down

For those out there who read my journal, I do apologize for the rollercoasterish way it reads ... last week I was all pumped about the new job and bouncing all over the place ... this week, I'm all morose about my artwork etc. ... I imagine that some of you, by now, are probably frustrated and going, "Geeze, just get over it already, can'tcha???"

Well, if it's any consolation, I'm no less frustrated than you are. My mood swings are not childish petulance or some kind of moral failing. Nor are my moody posts a bid for attention. They are symptoms of a genuine and persistent condition (specifically, a mild but persistent depression) which, while not inherently debilitating or life-threatening, is still a pain in the tuckus to deal with.

Writing in my journal about what's bothering me is a form of self-therapy. By getting it "out there," as opposed to just going around and around in my head, I externalize it, and therefore gain some control over it. The Moody Fit I'm Raging, once on paper, is no longer part of me, it's something outside, which I can then study, dissect, dismiss, or even ignore entirely. The angst is in the post, not in my head, so I can calm down, get a grip, and get myself back on the proper track.

Anyway, as I say, I'm sorry to leave these emotional landmines out there for people to happen upon. I suppose I could get around that by setting all of my posts to "private," but at the same time, there's nobody being tied down and forced to read my journal at gunpoint. Actually, I'm amazed that people would want to read my journal if they weren't tied down and at gunpoint, but people are strange, I guess. :) The point is, you are reading my journal freely and of your own will, and if my moodswings irritate you, by all means feel free to stick with Suburban Jungle, all in all a happier place. :)

I know I sure wouldn't read this stupid thing, if it were possible to write it any other way.

-The Gneech
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