John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

Ask a Jedi Master!

Dear Obi-Wan Kenobi:
One of our co-workers has been stealing other people's food from the fridge. None of us have actually caught her doing it, but by process of elimination we're pretty sure we know who it is. The question is, should we confront her about it, or should we just sneak some Ex-Lax brownies into the fridge to teach her a lesson?
--Seriously Annoyed

Dear Seriously Annoyed:
Obi-Wan?! ... Obi-Wan ... now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A loooong time. I haven't gone by the name of 'Obi-Wan' since, oh, before you were born. I think perhaps we should get indoors. The Sand People are easily startled, but they'll soon be back, and in larger numbers.
--Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi

Dear Yoda:
I've been dating this girl for about four months and we've really hit it off. I mean, I can picture myself doing the whole 'settle down, have kids' thing with her, but I'm still worried that I might be making a big, unfixable mistake. How do I know if it's "the real thing"?
--Cold Feet

Dear Cold Feet:
Everything! Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering!
--Jedi Master Yoda

Dear Mace Windu:
What can I do about unsightly stains on my kids' clothes? I've tried sprays, I've tried powders, but nothing seems to really work on grass and ground-in dirt! Can you help me?
--Fastidious Mom

Dear Fastidious Mom:
This Separatist attack makes no sense; a massive invasion, but no attempt to take the Jedi Temple or the Senate. Unless it's all a ruse to distract us from their primary objective? Palpatine! Trooper! Turn this ship around!
--Mace Windu
Tags: mystery post, star wars
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