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"No! NO! Not NOW!!!" shouted Brigid, pummeling the blue screen of her laptop in helpless frustration. "Dammit, I've got to get this thing out the door tonight!" She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath; then she reached for the phone and dialed the Help Desk extension.

"Blisto, help desk," came the voice on the other end of the line. Brian Blisto, one of the many I.T. guys with bizarre names.

"Hi, it's Brigid," she said. "My laptop's just gone BSOD for the third time today; I need you guys to get me fixed up 'cause this proposal has got to go out."

"Huh, not good," said Blisto. "Let me if any techs are available. It looks like Who's on-call, What's in the server room, and I Don't Know's configuring the phones."

"Wha huh?" said Brigid.

Blisto said, "Who's on-call, What's in the server room, and I Don't Know's configuring the phones."

Brigid blinked. "Uh, right. Well, send me the on-call technician please."


"The on-call technician."


"The on-call technician!"

"Who is on-call!"

"I'm asking you who's on-call!"

"That's his name."



"So tell me his name!"


"The on-call technician!" demanded Brigid. "What's his name?"

"No," said Blisto, "What's in the server room."

"I don't know!"

"He's configuring the phones, you're not having trouble with those are you?"

"The phones?" said Brigid. "How did I get to be talking about the phones?"

"You mentioned the tech's name."

"Who's name?"

"No, Who's on-call."

"I don't know!"

"He's configuring the phones."

Brigid stopped and blinked a few times. "Look," she finally said, "what's the name of the on-call technician?"

"No, What's in the server room."

"I'm not asking who's in the server room."

"Who's on-call."

"I don't know. Configuring the phones!" she snapped, cutting Blisto off. After a few seconds of mutually-frustrated silence, she said sweetly, "Do you have any contractor support?"

"Yeah, when the load's too heavy, we call in temps."

"Fine. Send me one of the temps, please."

"Okay, I'll send Tomorrow."

"I can't wait for tomorrow, this proposal's got to go out tonight!"


"So the company stays in business and we all stay employed, doofus."

"No, I mean I'll send Why if you don't like Tomorrow."

Brigid twitched. "What?"

"He's in the server room."

"Who's in the server room?"

"No, Who's on-call."

"I don't know — configuring the phones!"

"Don't have a cow, lady," said Blisto. "I'm trying to help you. But I have to know which technician to send."

"I don't care which technician! Just send somebody!"

"Sorry, say that again?"

"I said, 'Just send somebody."

"The I.T. manager? Okay, if you insist. But I've got to warn you, he can be kind of confusing."

Brigid's telephone went through two layers of drywall and ended up in the accounting department.

-The Gneech

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( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 4th, 2009 04:00 pm (UTC)
I never thought I'd see another Who's on First tribute/variant that equals the one in Woodstock Slappy.
Nov. 4th, 2009 04:04 pm (UTC)
Brigid and Slappy Squirrel would get along like a house on fire. :)

Nov. 4th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
Burning Houses are Dangerous
So by that you're meaning shouts, screams, people running for cover?

Though I could see them getting on well, it would just be dangerous for anyone else inside range of the resulting weapons-grade sarcasm, and occasional violence.

Brigid kind of reminds me a bit of Alice from Dibert ... I could see Brigid using Fist of Death on somebody.

-- Brett
Nov. 4th, 2009 08:16 pm (UTC)
And probably do twice as much damage.
Nov. 4th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
Just In Case Somebody Doesn't Get It...
Nov. 5th, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)
Re: Just In Case Somebody Doesn't Get It...
slightly more modern version:

Nov. 5th, 2009 04:15 am (UTC)
Re: Just In Case Somebody Doesn't Get It...
I believe this is the source of inspiration for today's fictionlet. He sent it to me yesterday.

Nov. 4th, 2009 05:18 pm (UTC)
What's your vector, Victor?
Do we have clearance, Clarence?
Over, Oveur.
Nov. 4th, 2009 08:16 pm (UTC)
Roger, Roger...
Nov. 4th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
The old routines are the best routines. :)

Nov. 5th, 2009 04:14 am (UTC)
This is because you sent me the Thane of Baseball link, isn't it? Hehe. I've caused you inspiration!

Nov. 5th, 2009 12:46 pm (UTC)
I'm sure that had something to do with the idea being in my head, although the primary inspiration was actually laurie_robey at her computer casually saying, "let's see who's online" — which prompted me to say "What's in the server room, and I Don't Know's configuring the phones."

It was that kind of a day.

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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