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Mood Leak

laurie_robey is of the opinion that it's extended symptoms of Cymbalta withdrawal; I don't know, myself, given the chronic recurrence of depression since my childhood, but certainly it doesn't help. But whatever the reason, for some time now (weeks at least, if not months, hard to tell for sure) I've been having a real problem with my mood constantly trying to slide into either snarling grouchiness or self-loathing depression. And it's insidious about it, too ... I'll be going along not paying any attention to it and suddenly notice that I'm biting off people's heads or mysteriously fighting off tears in the shower.

Not about anything, either, which is the worst part about it. If I was actually upset about something, that would actually be a comfort. The way I described it to Laurie is that my mood is acting like a leaky balloon — it starts out fine, but then just slowly starts to sag as all the air runs out of it until I suddenly realize what's happening and have to pump it up again.

I'm looking into ways to fix the problem, although so far I haven't latched on to a satisfactory plan yet. I'm not going on any more drugs for it after Lyrica and Cymbalta, that's fer damn sure. I would go back to the St. John's Wort, as that worked well for me before, but according to Laurie's research, people "coming down" from Cymbalta are generally recommended to avoid St. John's Wort because it mucks around with their serotonin levels too much.

Until I come up with a better solution, however, I'm basically trying to keep to myself (other people tend to stress me out, and in my current state I'm sure I'm no prize to be around for them, either) and keep myself as busy as possible so I don't slip into a brood. That's been good for keeping the laundry and dishes done around the house, at least, and I'm actually ahead of schedule on the art for this year's Suburban Jungle Christmas card (Leona's turn this year!).

Another thing I'm doing for mood therapy is making a point of watching movies I like, or at least listening to them while I work (I was meant to be alive in the Golden Age of Radio, but missed it by about 50 years). Tonight's entry was Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit, which also mysteriously leaves me in tears, but they're good ones. (I can't help it, I always get choked up at the end!)

Anyway, it's late and I need to get to bed. So g'nite, world, and have an awesome tomorrow. :)

-The Gneech


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 12th, 2009 04:00 am (UTC)
Don't give up entirely on the medicines. It can be really frustrating to find the right medicine and "dial in" the right dosage. But for the folks I know who did find that combination, it helped them tremendously.
Nov. 12th, 2009 07:16 am (UTC)
hear, hear. I never knew I was bipolar, because I didn't know it came in "bitchy" flavor. Lamictal is amazing stuff for me.

Nov. 12th, 2009 05:13 am (UTC)
For what it's worth, my mood leaks as well. I'm just better at hiding it as being around people energizes me. I often sign onto Lotro not to do any questing, but to spend time chatting away like a nutcase. That's why I can stand around for hours waiting for something worth doing; cause I'm busy interfacing while I'm waiting :)
Nov. 12th, 2009 05:30 am (UTC)
My prescription for bad moods is hugs. Lots of them.

Nov. 12th, 2009 10:24 am (UTC)
Sounds like you're doing all the right things - hope you emerge from the tunnel soon.
Nov. 13th, 2009 05:18 am (UTC)
Someone mention mood leek?

Hope you feel better soon and you have an awesome tomorrow! n_n
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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