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Every now and again, I have to go through my wardrobe, take stock, expunge everything that isn't suitable (which often tends out to be a surprisingly large amount), then sally forth into the harsh and unfriendly world of "Big and Tall" stores in an attempt to have more than two pairs of pants and one shirt still wearable.

This time I've consigned three trash bags' worth to Goodwill, with another trash bag's worth flat out discarded because they were so worn out as to be unwearable. Many of these were t-shirts that I bought for love but simply can't wear any more, either because they've shrunk, I've grown, or both -- or I wore them until they were so full of holes that one more wearing would reduce them to a thin yellow spray.

Usually, I don't toss something until I know for a fact that I just can't get into it any more; this time I was considerably more ruthless. I had a lot of items in my wardrobe that just barely fit but made me look (or feel) like a stuffed sausage, didn't really look good on me but were passable if everything else was in the laundry, or similar "Desperation Day" outfits. This is a sneakier piece of the hoarding instinct I learned from my mother but have been endeavoring to purge since college -- reinforced by the fact that every once in a blue moon, I am out of clean laundry and have to resort to a Desperation Day item.

But years of this had led there being more Desperation Day items than Every Day items. After all, the Desperation Day items don't wear out, because I almost never wear them. So this round's purge included jettisoning the Desperation Day items. Shirts that fit except for the top button? Gone. Pants that could be zipped if I lay on the floor and suck in my breath? Gone. Ties that made passers-by on the street grab at their eyes and cry out for a merciful God to strike them down? Gone. Failed attempts at Suburban Jungle merchandise? Outa there! [1]

It was a healthy thing to do, and I'm glad I did it. On the other hand, it has left me with two sets of slacks suitable for work, one pair of jeans, and almost no "casual day" shirts other than a couple of polos with the Watering Hole logo on them. So today is "Build Gneech a New Wardrobe!" day. Or possibly, because it will start with a haircut, "Gneech Makeover Day."

Stacy and Clinton, your services will not be needed, but thank you.

I have also been pondering changing up my "Geek Goatee 101" facial hair for something else, but I haven't been able to decide on a good replacement. I absolutely require something in the way of beardage, because otherwise my chin gets lost in the big pink moon that is my face. But a nautical (i.e., "Riker") beard just makes me look scraggly and itches to boot, and I'm not sure I could pull off an artsy "vertical caterpillar beard" or anything like that. So it may be that the Geek Goatee 101 will have to suffice.

-The Gneech

[1] I did reserve a pile for "sentimental items," clothes that I can't or won't wear, but don't want to get rid of, such as the t-shirt I designed for the opening of the Borders Bookstore where I once worked, or the my Call of Cthulhu and Wing Commander III promotional shirts. But they are separated out in my closet so they won't get mixed in to my actual clothes for wearing.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 27th, 2010 02:44 pm (UTC)
I'm a lot worse at hoarding because I still have clothes from 15 years ago that amazingly, I haven't outgrown. I've started to wear some of the older clothes to put some wear and tear into those so I can finally get rid of them.
Mar. 27th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
You have a Wing Commander III promotional shirt? I envy you.

"Your homeworld is a watery planet; not an environment I have ever cared for."
--Prince Thrakhath
Mar. 27th, 2010 04:25 pm (UTC)
I can't imagine you with a Riker beard. Or any facial hair, come to think of it.
Mar. 27th, 2010 04:38 pm (UTC)
Two words...


Well... just saying... ya know... ;)
Mar. 28th, 2010 12:00 am (UTC)
Honestly, I'm not sure I could pull it off. See also...

-The Gneech
Mar. 28th, 2010 01:33 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm... oh well... it was worth a shot. =^})
Mar. 27th, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC)
Boy does this sound familiar to me. I've tossed or donated clothing many times (Stuff I can't wear due to gained weight or lost weight, etc.).

Ironically the one thing I have not tossed out are my ties. Some are broad (common style now) to thin (late 80's early 90's) and a few Disney Character ties that NO one can get anymore. The latter include Meeko the Raccoon; several Lion King; a Jungle Book tie (which I absolutely will NEVER part with) and a Halloween tie with several Disney Villains on it, including "Runnaway Brain" Mickey (That Mickey looks like he's got Rabies). And don't even THINK about touching my Fedora's or my Stetson cowboy hats that cover my balding head.

Suits... my first 3-piece suit in brown polyester (Yes... POLYESTER!!) --- Gone.

My second 3-piece suit from Patrick James, all wool --- Gone.

Several blue blazers (that I am now too big to wear, because I went from a 36 to a 42 Regular from better exercise and working out) ---- Gone.

Shoes out of style or worn down, but suitable for someone really down & out or a theater's wardrobe department ---- Gone.

My spring cleaning was yesterday though (see my post) an that's out of the way for another year.
Mar. 28th, 2010 02:20 am (UTC)
you did save the FLW ties, right???
congrats on the purge....

from Buford, GA, and am one tired llama

Mar. 28th, 2010 05:05 am (UTC)
Re: you did save the FLW ties, right???

Mar. 28th, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC)
Re: you did save the FLW ties, right???
Frank Lloyd Wright...
Mar. 28th, 2010 07:31 pm (UTC)
Re: you did save the FLW ties, right???
Oh! Yes of course, those stay, although I need to connive Laurie into repairing one.

Mar. 28th, 2010 07:03 am (UTC)
I've done the same saving certain shirts that have worn out but I don't want to throw away. All my Gen Con and various furry con shirts mostly.
I'm considering the suggestion made to me to cut what ever the image/logo is off the shirt and have the cloth framed.
Mar. 28th, 2010 01:35 pm (UTC)
One more thought, not sure it will be your cup of tea... take the shirts you won't wear and turn them into a quilt or blanket? Either one to curl up with in bed, or one that you can hang on the wall and look at from time to time. Modern art in a sense, but also a great memory-reminder...
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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