John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey
the_gneech

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Bursting With Fruit Flavor

ACK! THE FULL MOON! I'M TURNING INTO A WEREQUEEN!

Okay, ladies, it's time for me to let loose the shrill queen that resides in us all, and do some serious kvetching about life in general and pop culture in particular.

First off, if there is one silver lining in the big black cloud of September 11, let it be this: Mad Magazine has named Jerry Falwell "Stupidest Person of the Year" for 2001! You tell, 'em Alfred! Check out the details here:

http://www.planetout.com/pno/news/article.html?2001/12/27/1

Second off, what is the DEAL with Tom Cruise? He has always been an annoying little twink, but I didn't really hate him until he desecrated Mission: Impossible. I would wish for the ghost of Peter Graves to harry Cruise until the end of his days, except that Peter Graves isn't dead. (Mmmm ... Peter Graves ... *drool*)

Suddenly, Tom Cruise is EVERY-friggin'-where! Magazines, books, TV ... I can't even sign on to AOL without his obnoxious little smirk sticking out at me. He's even going shirtless, basically saying, "Drink me in, folks, aren't I dreamy?" Well here's a clue, Tom: you're not dreamy. You're irritating. I dunno, maybe he's doing damage control after that ridiculous "I'm not gay!" lawsuit.

Get down off your high horse, Tom. Speaking for shrill queens everywhere, you wouldn't be welcome in the clubhouse anyway, as far as I'm concerned!

Last, but not least, the remake of "Rollerball" is finally showing previews in the theaters. I saw one last night, which slightly marred my enjoyment of "Lord of the Rings" (but only slightly).

Come ON! There's a reason we put the '70s behind us, ladies and gentlemen: because they SUCKED!!! The only compensation I can see is that "Austin Powers: Goldmember" is also starting to show previews, although that could be improved 500% by the deletion of Fat Bastard, who isn't anywhere near as funny as Mike Myers thinks he is.

AACK! THE MOON IS GOING AWAY! I'M CHANGING BACK FROM THE WEREQUEEN INTO MYSELF!

*shakes head*

Whoof! Well THAT was weird!

-The Gneech, looking for a football game to watch, quick!
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