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Random Dead Frog

So it’s a rainy day … tornado watch even. And we step out the door to run some errands only to be surprised by a frog on the patio. “Oh, neat! A frog! … Er … wait, there’s something wrong here…”

The frog, sitting in a fairly normal attentive-frog pose, was quite dead, with its mouth hanging open and a purple-black tongue lolling out. Yeeks. Ate some pesticide, perhaps? We don’t put any out ourselves, but who knows what the neighbors do. The frog has no visible wounds, so it’s not like some predator left a half-finished job on the porch. It looks for all intents and purposes that a frog just decided our porch was a good place to die.

Okay, creepy. We have a random dead frog on a cold and stormy day. But we also have errands to run, so random dead frog is left where he is.

Later, we’re back home and taking care of stuff and I happen to look out on the patio: random dead frog is still there, sitting attentively…

…facing the other way…

Time for the jibblies. O.o WTF, random dead frog? And why is it that you’re ten inches closer to the door?

Mrs. Gneech decides it’s time for the random dead frog to go. So we head out to the patio, to find that the random dead frog is now facing in a third direction. ¬.¬ But in short order it’s scooped up in a plastic bag and tossed into the trash. No getting in and laying a curse on the house for YOU, random dead frog!


WTF random dead frog.

-The Gneech

PS: I’m actually fairly sure that what happened is that the random heavy spurts of rain caused puddles which floated the dead frog around as they washed off the porch. But I didn’t see this with my own eyes, so it’s just as conceivable that we had a haunted frog on the porch. If it reappears after having been thrown away, we’ll know to call in the local exorcist.

Originally published at gneech.com. You can comment here or there.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 16th, 2011 11:01 pm (UTC)
If you see Random Dead Frog crawling on the ceiling, run.
Apr. 17th, 2011 11:21 pm (UTC)
Apr. 17th, 2011 01:01 am (UTC)
You should have sealed it in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted it with glucose.
Apr. 19th, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC)
"That's as may be, but it's still a frog!"

Apr. 17th, 2011 02:27 am (UTC)
There was a dog once that my dad had to shoot, I think it was sick or suffering. Let's just assume there was a good reason to shoot the dog. One shot to the head. A good clean merciful kill.

We hauled the dog to the place where we dumped our garbage (this was out in the country). The next day, we came home from church...

And the dog, with half his head missing, was SITTING IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE.

And it thumped its tail when Dad walked up to it.

Dad made sure it was dead after that.
Apr. 17th, 2011 02:37 am (UTC)

Apr. 17th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
from my many years of living out in the middle of nowhere...
Grotesque warning:

1) Shovel. Gloves. Sturdy Shoes.
2) Industrial plastic bag
3) Insert deceased victim
4) In Moorpark, we'd put the DV in bottom of dipsy dumpster
5) In Turlock, we'd bury it or burn it
6) In Santa Clara, #1 would be Animal Control (which I've had to do about once a year for the flotsam/jetsam that shows up)
Apr. 17th, 2011 12:24 pm (UTC)

I don't think the Widow Shins liked the way you disposed of her in Mopsy...
Apr. 17th, 2011 03:20 pm (UTC)
Occam's razor might suggest someone is pranking you when you aren't looking, but I don't know your neighbors well enough. It could be that the Faries are mad that AotWC has shared too many of their secrets, and since they can't lift a horse's head, they're treating you to what they are strong enough to lift.

That, or your pooka's a real prankster...
Apr. 18th, 2011 12:23 pm (UTC)
Do you let either of your cats in and out of the house? If so that could really be the explanation. Having an outdoors cat and one that we let in and out dead critters on the front porch is nothing new to us. We usually just get the shovel and toss the remains in the field just behind us but since you live in the city I guess a sturdy zip lock bag and tossing the deceased creature in the garbage will have to do.
Apr. 29th, 2011 12:52 am (UTC)
Damn zombie frogs. >_>
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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