John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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Insufficiently Awesome

So, I tweeted this earlier today...

I don't generally get PCD these days ... I just spend the next two weeks finding life insufficiently awesome. #BeMoreAwesomeDammit

...and while I meant it mostly as a throwaway gag, the more it bumped around in my brain cavity, the more I gradually realized how much truth there was to it. Especially the part where I beg the universe to "Be more awesome, dammit!"

PCD, for those who may be wondering, here refers to "post-con depression," a condition in which, after spending 3-5 intensive days in the company of cool, interesting people who are all turned up to 11, coming back to ordinary life feels pretty bleak. Doubly so if your ordinary life is one you're not particularly happy with to begin with.

These days, I'm fairly happy with my ordinary life, which is why I don't really get PCD. On the other hand, I have a hungry, "high idea-flow" mind that's constantly craving new input, and it's usually only in situations like conventions where I feel like life is actually moving at a pace that doesn't bore me silly. Furthermore, my creativity, as a rule, tends to feed off the creativity around me. If I'm in a room full of creative people doing interesting things, my own creativity takes off like a rocket -- if I'm spending my life in the Grey Flannel Workplace, my mind rapidly starts trying to shut down.

Now, you can't live your life at conventions. Even if you could somehow manage to afford it and the food didn't kill you, the simple fact is that you need downtime in order to produce anything! On top of that, what happens when "awesome" becomes "every day"? Does it then turn into "monotony"? (See also Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy.)

But that doesn't alter the fact that when I'm not at a con, I do spend most of my time thinking about when I will be at one again. Cons are where I feel like I'm "with my people," and the human race generally starts trying to live up to its potential. At a con, I quickly get used to things being awesome a lot and almost instinctively develop the entirely unfounded assumption that awesome is the default state of things.

Thus, when I come back to the "real world," I find it insufficiently awesome, and no matter how much yelling or begging I do, it just stays that way. All I can do is to inject what awesome I can, and hope other people pick up the slack.

So here's my request, everyone who reads this: do something awesome today. :) And when you have, tell me what it is, please!

-The Gneech
Tags: conventions, deep thoughts, furry
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