I’ve chosen to discuss this trailer with a little skit I’ve written.
Pitch Man: “I have an excellent idea for the new Spider-Man movie, boss.”
Sony Executive: “Oh? And what might that be?”
Pitch Man: “So you know how Sam Raimi’s first film less than a decade ago set the bar for superhero movies and then its sequel raised the bar impossibly high, and both movies were praised for their frenetic action as well as their wry sense of humor, making us connect to Peter Parker’s trials and tribulations even more than we already would?”
Sony Executive: “Of course I do. I loved those movies when I was in Junior High.”
Pitch Man: “Well, what if we take out all that and make it all angsty and subdued and sort of make it look like The Social Network and even get one of the guys who was in The Social Network to be the lead and then end the trailer for it with a weird, ambiguous quote that doesn’t actually mean anything?”
Sony Executive: Are you going to do another emo-Spider-Man? Market research shows nobody really liked that.
Pitch Man: But in this, he’s going to be extra emo, and there won’t be a dance number.
Sony Executive: I like it! Here’s a bag of money. Give as little as possible to the writer.
That's just one reason I'm so done with superheroes, of course, but it's a good start.