January 15th, 2002

beachy

Sigh.

Yesterday, I was fine until about 5:00, then I suddenly felt all of my energy and enthusiasm just suck right out of me. This morning, I couldn't drag myself out of bed for a long time, and when I finally did, I was completely bummed out.

Right now, I just feel discouraged, about everything. I want to work on my writing, but I need to do my comics first. I want to work on my comics, but I have commissions to do. I want to work on my commissions, except I want to try out techniques from this new book I got first ... and so on. Everything I want to do, has something else to do first in front of it; the net result is that I just want to turn around and go back to bed.

Most of all, I NEED A BLOODY JOB ... but nobody wants me. Tons of resumes sent out ... only a handful of interviews ... and no second calls. The only people who wanted me were Eddie Bauer, and that was only so I'd buy their clothes while I worked on the floor. Works out to be free labor for them, basically.

I have what were three years ago very desirable skills. Now, I've got nothing. I basically have to start my career completely over from scratch ... and I have no idea where to go, and no clue what I want to do. I don't want to go back to the beginning -- I have things I want to do, places I want to go, projects I want to complete. Going back to square one means taking crap salary again, and having to regain everything I spent the past 10 years getting to. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACKWARDS, DAMMIT!

I feel ripped off.

-The Gneech
  • Current Music
    "Raiders of the Lost Ark" -- maybe it'll cheer me up
beachy

When You're Deep in a Hole, Stop Digging!

Well, I seem to have broken out of my morning's funk, mostly by virtue of food and the forcible application of pushups and situps. Thanks for the notes of encouragement, all, they helped quite a bit! You probably won't see much of me online today, tho ... I've got a lot to do.

-The Gneech
  • Current Music
    "Xena, Warrior Princess" soundtrack, but not for long