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April 10th, 2002

Slow and Steady Leaves You Way Behind

Aesop wasn't all he's cracked up to be.

Anyway, I spent the majority of today working on T'Chall's commissions, while watching bad DVDs. T'Chall is a super-nice guy who I like quite a bit, but his commission request is quite complex. I managed to get the penciling about halfway done after working on it for about five hours. (It doesn't help that I am such a slow artist.) I also did a little bit of errand-running, and some window shopping with Laurie after I picked her up from work. On the whole, it was a decent day off, if not quite as productive as I would have liked.

Tomorrow I go in to work shockingly early again, and get off at 1:30 IIRC. I have an appointment with my counselor in the evening, and then finally work one of these alleged mid-shifts on Friday. (And then back to opening on Saturday. Le sigh.)

I wish I trusted the temp agencies to find me work, even at the lower rate, lower skill required jobs of data entry, administrata, phone answering, etc. The Starbucks job was tolerable and even enjoyable as a stopgap when I worked afternoons and evenings; working mornings is just plain crap, with no redeeming features. I'm going to burn out very quickly at this rate, and spend every day like I spent yesterday -- snappish and hating life -- and I don't want to spend my life that way. I just got over my depression; I have no intention of permitting the requirements of a job push me into another depression now.

I have been trying to network, without much success. It seems that everybody I know is either just as badly underemployed as I am, or living in fear of layoffs themselves. I have been sending off resumes, which feels roughly like being a castaway sending out messages in bottles (and is just about as effective). I also go to job fairs, but around here those only work for degreed engineers who already have Top Secret security clearance.

Meanwhile, "luxury single homes from the low $700's" are still being built and sold like there's no tomorrow around here. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE, AND HOW DO YOU AFFORD TO LIVE LIKE THAT???

Sorry, I'm a little frustrated. You can tell, can't you?

-The Gneech

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