April 26th, 2002


Personal Devils

If people have guardian angels, is it also possible they have personal devils, too? It would explain much about my life if that were the case. It would also explain why I often get the distinct notion that the universe is laughing at me.

Those of you who knew me when I worked at LifeMinders will probably remember how stressed out I got working there, because the job basically started taking over my life. I'd go in early, stay late, and sometimes work all weekend, then try to eke out SJ during the few hours I was home before I slipped unwillingly into an exhausted slumber.

I considered that to be a bad situation, and I worked hard to get out of it. And I managed to succeed for a while -- in lieu of an annual raise for the last year I worked there, I arranged it so that I always had Mondays off, no matter what hours I worked the rest of the week. It was still busy and stressful sometimes, but I always had Monday. Of course, by the end of the job, the dot-com industry was so dead that we spent most of our time sitting around anyway, which is why I spent so much of my time there learning Wing Chun from Jay.

Enter my personal devil.

After being laid off from LFMN, I spent several weeks nose-to-the-grindstone trying to teach myself enough Java to find some sort of entry level job in that field. I basically did that as if it were a full-time job, until I reached a stage where I couldn't learn any more on my own and needed training.

Alas, at that stage, my severance pay was running low, so I couldn't risk spending it on training, so I started looking for work instead. And there was none.

And more none.

And still more none.

Eventually, I gave up looking for an entry-level position doing Java, because there is no such thing. So I started looking for graphics, figuring I had those skills already. But there was none.

And more none.

And still more none.

Eventually, I gave up looking for a specific type of work at all, and just wanted something. Temp agencies had nothing, resumes went without response, and phone calls were basically answered, "Don't call us, we'll call you." I don't know why; nobody had specific reasons. How I went from being in great demand, to being an employment untouchable, I have no clue.

So I ended up at Starbucks -- because they would take me. That is a bloody depressing thought. And I can just hear that personal devil giggling, too. "You thought it was bad turning over your whole life to that dot-com company? Just wait until you're in the same situation -- but at one-third the salary! Aaaaahahhahahaaaa!!!"

He's an obnoxious little bastard. If I ever figure out a way to the infernal planes, I'm going to make sure he suffers for this.

-The Gneech