May 29th, 2002

Kero Power Tie

Last Day of the Rest of My Life?

Hard to believe that February 13 was just three and a half months ago -- I feel like I've been working at Starbucks for a year! And tomorrow's my last day.

It's taking a bit of time for the idea to sink in. Starbucks was simultaneously a life-saver, and a killer. It's a big, huge, momentous thing, leaving this job that I only just started in February. It's had that profound an impact on the course of my life lately.

There is a certain strange appropriateness that I am leaving Starbucks at the same time that all the schools are letting out. Seniors are graduating, junior years are going into summer vacation ... and tonight I watched Harry Potter again, on the new DVD that just came out. In many ways I feel like the departure from Starbucks is symbolic of the end of a very difficult period of my life, going all the way back to the onset of my depression ... hopefully I am "graduating" to better things.

It's interesting, actually, how my life has come around in a circle, no pun intended. The upside is that I am no longer in debt; the downside is that I went through a major emotional and identity crisis and many hours of pain, hard labor, and emotional torment.

How am I now, that it's all done?

Happy, actually ... optimistic about the future, a little beat up, but a lot more at home in my own soul. Having gone through what I basically spent my life avoiding, having faced the demons I was afraid to face and survived, and having experienced the things I wouldn't allow myself to experience, I am finally ready to start moving forward and live a life of my own choosing, rather than just going where-ever I end up when running away from something else.

I know, sounds vague and kinda melodramatic. :) But that's okay ... you're reading my journal, for crying out loud. The only person it needs to make sense to, is myself.

G'nite, everybody, and have a great tomorrow. I sure will. :)

-The Gneech