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October 31st, 2002

A Minor Rant Re: Halloween

I get so sick of the never-ending assault on Halloween. Otherwise sane, sensible people who have no objections to Christmas or Easter are constantly trying to eradicate Halloween due to its "pagan" origins, and it burns me up.

A related idiot is the "Halloween Is Too Dangerous!" parent. If you are one of these people who complains about the degradation of the neighborhood as a social unit and the decay of communities in general, and then won't let your kids go trick-or-treating because you're afraid they might find a razorblade in their apple, then bend over, because you're due a serious butt-kicking. It's all YOUR fault.

As for "mall-o-ween," I don't even want to dignify it with comment, but if I don't, some fool will think I approve. I bear no malice towards the well-wishing shopping mall owners who initiated the concept, nor even malice towards the not-so-well-wishing shopping mall owners who see halloween as just another gimmick to get people's wallets in the door. But I do bear malice towards the scared-bunny parents who would take advantage of "mall-o-ween," on the grounds that it's somehow safer than walking your little tykes around to meet the people on your block and say, "Trick or treat!"

Honestly, people. 90% of the folks around you are wonderful, kind people who'd love nothing better than to meet their neighbors and rot the kiddies' teeth with prepackaged sugary goodness. Yeah, you've got to watch out for the other 10% ... but dammit, that's life! The world is not a safe place. But you've got to live in it anyway! And nobody's going to make it safer if you don't.

-The Gneech

PS: I am dressed up like Dr. Who today. :) Happy Halloween, everybody!


Going Postal Hoedown

*cue hoedown music*

The Postman is my friend
The Postman is my friend
he brings the mail
he never fails
The Postman is my friend!

I love the U.S. Postman
he is my bestest friend
He brings me lots of flyers
and postcards without end
He always is so cheerful
he's such a happy guy
he is a little scary
and maybe that is why...

The Postman is my friend
The Postman is my friend
he brings me bills
they make me ill
But the Post-man-is-my-frieeeeennnnd!


-The Gneech


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