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November 21st, 2002

Have You Ever Noticed...

That the opening to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" sounds very much like the opening to Bobby 'Boris' Pickett's "Monster Mash?"

-The Gneech

PS: Is it tonight yet?
This NIMH site is sitting on my head and crushing it. The Project Director and client want to track a piece of data -- okay, that's fine -- but they don't want to alter the database to do it.

Um.

That's where data goes, folks, in the database!

I like to put it this way: If you tell a computer that 2+2=4, then the computer knows "2+2=4" and when you say, "What is 2+2?" the computer says, "4." If you then say, "Good! What is 2+3?" the computer blinks at you and says, "What's a 3?" But the client doesn't want to tell the computer what a 3 is, because that takes time and the site is supposed to go live tomorrow.

So they keep trying to get us in I.T. to come up with ways to get the computer to say "2+3=5" without telling it what "3" is. They keep trying variation after variation, and the answer keeps being, "No, that doesn't work, because the computer doesn't know what 3 is!"

It sorta reminds me of the old routine off of The Electric Company:

OLDGEEZER: I'd like coffee and a sweet roll.

WAITRESS: We're out of sweet rolls.

OLDGEEZER: Okay, then I'd like tea and a sweet roll.

WAITRESS: We're out of sweet rolls.

OLDGEEZER: Well how about orange juice and a sweet roll?

WAITRESS: We're out of sweet rolls!

OLDGEEZER: Then just give me milk and a sweet roll.

WAITRESS: We! Are out! Of sweet rolls!

OLDGEEZER: In that case, make it cocoa and a sweet roll.

WAITRESS: AAAAAAARGGGHHH!!! *runs out the door, slamming it behind her*

OLDGEEZER: On second thought, just give me some toast.

-The Gneech <-- prefers blueberry muffins

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