Earlier this week, somebody said something to me that really hurt. I don't want to go into the details here, but suffice to say it made me feel like he had a really low opinion of me -- and an unjustified one at that -- and had basically been lying to me for a long time. It was something of an emotional gutpunch, to say the least.
As a result, my moods have been wonky all week. I'll be fine for a while, then my brain will start going around the same circles about the whole situation, and I'll begin an internal rant of what I'd like
to say in return, and my mood will tank. It's screwed up my sleep and made it hard for me to concentrate on anything. Yesterday, I managed to distract myself from it with the Amazon care package, and felt pretty good for most of the afternoon, but then by bedtime I was in the emotional tank again. I had to take a sleeping pill in order to get my brain to shut up
so I could sleep.
Tonight, I think, it's time for something of an emotional cleansing. I'm scheduled to go to Kung Fu, and while exercise would help, I don't really want to deal with physical exhaustion afterward as well as emotional. So what I'm going to do instead is change into my comfiest casual clothes and CLEAN UP MY STUDIO! As my schedule has looked like a trainwreck since last October or so, everything around my drawing table and computer is in total disarray, with art bits scattered here, gaming papers scattered there, and computer games shoved into random corners.
I'm going to organize the hell out of it. I'm going to find a good place for my markers to live so that I don't have to keep pulling them out and then putting them away. I'm going to put prints and art that I've bought or received at cons into portfolios to keep them protected. I'm going to put all of my D&D
papers into separate binders for my game and jamesbarrett
's game, throwing away stuff I don't need any more, and organizing the rest into something more cohesive than "A stack o' paper."
If, after all that, it's not too late, I'm going to get on the Bowflex, which I haven't used for a while, and do some serious, erm, flexing.
And tonight, by God, I'm going to sleep well.