My art takes too damn long. :P
“Today,” Greg announced with startling volume, “we celebrate the wonder of Herbert Lom!”
Brigid winced. “Not again.”
“Yes, Herbert Lom! Versatile and multitalented actor, bon vivant, and dapper man about town, Herbert Lom! Best known for his roles as Captain Nemo in Mysterious Island and Dr. Roger Corder in the highly regarded Associated-British Pictures Corporation television series, ‘The Human Jungle!’”
“Never heard of it.”
“Never heard of it?” Greg’s eyes widened as if he were personally offended by the notion. “It was only the most widely-regarded medical drama of 1963!”
“How the hell do you know about a British medical drama from 1963?”
“And it starred Herbert Lom! I mean, really, isn’t that enough?”
Brigid put her hand to her forehead, scrunching her eyes in agony. “Wait a minute, wait a minute here … isn’t Herbert Lom the guy who played ‘Inspector Dreyfus’ in the Pink Panther movies?”
“The very one!” Greg chirped, suddenly excited. “I’m impressed, young Brigid! I didn’t realize you’d be familiar with his more minor works!”
“I need to go lie down,” she said.
“Take thoughts of Herbert Lom with you on this special day,” he told her. “They’ll comfort you.”
“I live with a freak,” she said, heading out of the room. “I really need to re-think this setup.”
<-- previous B&G
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For those of you who don't recognize DNPC, it stands for "Dependent Non-Player Character". I understand it's a fairly common Disadvantage among players, but after this little stunt, I had a severe shortage of DNPCs in my campaign.
One of my more resourceful heroes was a young lady named Malice. She was a martial artist who had a poison touch. She was fast, deadly and very lucky. She was also a big, fat thorn in Carter's side. She was getting too close to his secret, so he decided to retire her.
When she wasn't running around in black tights, Malice was taking care of her aging grandmother. Grandmama was not too fond of those costumed heroes, especially that Malice girl. She looked like a hussy in that tight little costume. And what right did they have to do a police man's job? Grandpa was a police man, after all (and the main inspiration for Malice to turn to a life of adventuring). In short, it would break Grandmama's heart if she found out about her granddaughter's secret.
By now, you should be getting the picture. Just show Grandmama pictures of her granddaughter getting into the Malice costume and everything will be hunky dory, right?
When Carter does things, he does them with style.
On Grandmama's seventieth birthday, Malice took her out to her favorite restaurant. In the middle of the meal, one of Malice's most hated enemies showed up on the roof with a bomb. Of course, Malice made an appearance. Her enemy (who knew she would show up) was prepared. He had a single agenda and he stuck to it. In the middle of the fight, he hit her with a paralyzing ray, ripped off her mask and threw her through the glass ceiling - right in front of Grandmama. The combined shock of seeing her granddaughter get thrown through the glass ceiling, fall fifty feet and slam to the floor was shocking enough. Add to it the realization that her granddaughter was that masked hussy was a bit too much for Grandmama to handle.
Her heart seized, and as Malice watched on, trapped in her paralyzed body, her grandmother died.
Malice retired the very next day and nobody ever bought a DNPC again.