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May 26th, 2005

Let's Call the Whole Day Off

It's another perfect day today ... I don't get it. Washington is never this relentlessly nice ... so I have to wonder what the weather has up its, er, sleeve.

64 degrees, light breeze, beautiful blue sky, all the flora and fauna just going crazy about the sheer niceness of it all ... the only place it all falls down is the people. Somebody seems to have gone around town and smacked everybody with a STUPID stick. The people who won't stop in traffic, for instance, are all intent on crashing into the people who won't GO.

It seems a terrible waste of a perfect day to be sitting here typing this when there's a lake just a block away from my house that badly needs walking around. Le sigh! Oh well, two days 'til vacation!

-The Gneech

Another Star Wars Post, Sorry

As painful as bits of Episode I are, its soundtrack really is excellent. In some ways, I think the soundtrack is "over-qualified" for the movie -- "Duel of the Fates" sounds like something awesome is going to happen at any moment, so you sit there getting revved up by the soundtrack and wondering why the movie keeps not living up to it. (At least until the lightsaber battle at the end, anyway -- which is only partially marred by the realization that Anakin did in fact just say "oops" and win the day by dumb luck.)

Heck, listening to "Duel of the Fates" while I work makes this stupid government website I'm building seem like it's going to somehow be exciting and vitally important at any moment. (This of course just adds to the mental disconnect when it never actually is.)

-The Gneech

From "Saturday Night Fry"

Just to make your day a little more surreal...

Emma Thompson: You see? They can hear nothing but normal radio output! Your plan has failed, Don Mackelwaine!

Hugh Laurie: Wrong, Jenny Flemisto! They're listening to us now!

Emma Thompson: What! How? How did you -- no one could have interfered with my broadcast projection like that! No one! Unless--

Hugh Laurie: Unless they had taken Floric-19, too? Yes! You've met your match, Jenny Flemisto! Meet--

*DUNH DUNH DUNNNHHH*

Barry Cryer: Barry Cryer!

Emma Thompson: But you--! I--! That is I--!

Barry Cryer: Following the instructions on your lab tapes I formulated the serum and injected myself with it!

Emma Thompson: I--! That is you--! I never--! They--! But surely--!

Barry Cryer: Instead of turning into a woman, I turned into Barry Cryer! I may have left out some vital ingredient, but don't underestimate me! I am packed with strange powers! Amongst my supernatural gifts, I have the remarkable ability to find something suggestive and naughty in anything you say!

Emma Thompson: But that's extraordinary!

Barry Cryer: Extraordinary? At my age it's a miracle!

Emma Thompson: But it's horrifying!

Barry Cryer: It is horrifying, isn't it? I'll put it away! There, you see what I mean? A lewd ambiguity for every occasion!

Emma Thompson: You're having me on.

Barry Cryer: No, but it's an idea.

Emma Thompson: You can keep this up indefinitely?

Barry Cryer: Are you sure you want me to answer that?

Emma Thompson: All right, if you can twist any remark I might make, try this! Er ... buttercup!

Barry Cryer: Buttock up, buttock down! Buttock up, buttock down! And rest. Thank you madam!

Emma Thompson: Curses, that was too easy! I'll try another. Anti-tank missile!

Barry Cryer: You flatter me. But you should see it when it's angry!

Emma Thompson: I don't get it.

Barry Cryer: I'll soon put a stop to that!

Emma Thompson: My God, you have actually become Barry Cryer! You double-entendres are staggering!

Barry Cryer: Only when I cough.

Emma Thompson: Well if you really are Barry Cryer, would you mind signing this? It's for my children.

Barry Cryer: I don't remember ordering any children!

Emma Thompson: I can have them biked over to you tomorrow. The youngest is allergic to eggs. Apart from that, they should be no trouble. Please sign for them, there's a dotted line on the bottom, there.

Barry Cryer: There's a novelty!

Emma Thompson: Well, quite!

-Written by Stephen Fry and Shamelessly Transcribed by The Gneech

Whoof

Man oh man, I need this vacation. 'nuff said.

-The Gneech <-- still has to do at least two more Character Q&A sketches by tomorrow night, preferably five

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