I would like to add these corollaries to the "Hang up and drive!" bumper sticker:
Hang up and park.
Hang up and walk.
Hang up and ride the elevator.
Hang up and order your latté.
Just hang up.
-The Gneech, with deep annoyance and resentment
"Hmm. I see. Well I think I may be able to help you. You see, your cat is suffering from what we vets haven't found a word for. His condition is typified by total physical inertia, absence of interest in its ambience -- what we vets call environment -- failure to respond to the conventional external stimuli ... a ball of string, a nice juicy mouse, a bird. To be blunt, your cat is in a rut. It's the old stockbroker syndrome, the suburban fin de siecle ennui, angst, weltschmerz, call it what you will."
"In a way, in a way ... hmm, moping, I must remember that. Now, what's to be done? Tell me sir, have you confused your cat recently?"
"Yes, well I think I can definitely say that your cat badly needs to be confused."