When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you just remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
So I'm applying for a P.O. Box for various reasons, and I notice this:
11. Two types of identification are required. One must contain a photograph of the addressee(s). Social Security cards, credit cards, and birth certificates are unacceptable as identification. Write in identifying information. Subject to verification.
Wait, wait ... social security cards and birth certificates are unacceptable? What the heck are we supposed to use, then, DNA samples?