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February 6th, 2009

Happy Birthday, 3catsjackson!

For your present, here's today's Forgotten English (© Jeffrey Kacirk):

landfall


A sudden translation of property in land by the death of a rich man.
—Rev. John Boag's Imperial Lexicon of the English Language, c. 1850


Farewell to Charles II


On this date in 1685, Charles II died of kidney failure caused by excessive inhalation of toxic mercury vapors, which believed helped transmute base metals into gold. English diarist John Evelyn described the king's final moments: "I can never forget the inexpressible luxury and profaneness, gaming, and all dissoluteness; the king sitting and toying with his concubines, Portsmouth, Cleveland, and Mazarine, a French boy singing love songs in that glorious gallery whilst about twenty of the great courtiers and other dissolute persons were at Basset round a large table, a bank of at least two thousand in gold before them ... It was enjoined that those who put on mourning should wear it as for a father, in the most solemn manner." Two days earlier, Evelyn wrote of a sudden "apoplectic fit" that overtook Charles: "If, by God's providence, Dr. King, that excellent chirurgeon, had not been accidentally present to let his blood, having his lancet in his pocket, his Majesty had certainly died that moment."

So you're saying what, it was a bit on the dissolute side?

-The Gneech

Who's Brilliant Idea Was It...?

"Control tower, this is private jet zero-niner-niner requesting emergency assistance, over."

"Zero-niner-niner, this is the tower, state your position and the nature of your emergency."

"Other than being approximately one hour south of New York City, I don't know my exact position. I'm in a thick cloudbank and have no point of reference."

"Zero-niner-niner, what is your altitude?"

"I don't know my altitude; I'm pretty high up tho, over."

"Zero-niner-niner, check your intrumentation. Is your altimeter failing?"

"Uh ... well ... that's the problem. My instruments are invisible."

"...Er, zero-niner-niner, could you repeat that?"

"My instruments are invisible. This is Wonder Woman. I'm flying an invisible jet."

"An invisible jet."

"Yes. Also, I may be running out of fuel; I can't tell for sure, tho, because my fuel gauge is invisible."

"Uh ... roger that ... uh ... Wonder Woman. We are attempting to locate you on radar. Drop 100 feet and let us know if you can see anything, over."

"I can't drop exactly 100 feet, because I can't read my altimeter. But I'll go down a bit ... a-ha! I see the approach, tower. Request permission to land."

"Permission granted to land, Wonder Woman. Is your landing gear down?"

"How the hell should I know??? Over."

-The Gneech
I asked susandeer to assist me with Tiffany's redesign, on the grounds that Sue is awesome at that kind of thing, and of course she's been exceeding my expectations as always. :) So tonight I decided to try a potential Tiffany model incorporating Sue's ideas as well as a few of my own, if nothing else to see if I could pull it off.

Look out for the tiger!Collapse )

What do you think, does it work?

-The Gneech

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