March 2nd, 2011



Brigid pulled herself slowly out into the living room; it was another rough morning, which was unfortunately not usual. Out in the kitchen, Greg was singing over his breakfast, which was also unfortunately not unusual. What Greg was singing, on the other hand, took a few seconds for Brigid to process.

He was singing in a lilty, wavering, ever-so-slightly flat falsetto, drawing out the high notes in a way that suggested a sensitive love song. That in itself was different from his usual playlist, but when combined with the lyrics, it set off a bomb in Brigid’s brain.

“She the kind of giiiiiiiirl,” Greg sang, “you don’t take home to moooother!”

“What?” said Brigid.

“The giiiirl’s all right, she’s all right with meeeeeeeeeeee!” Greg sang, as he stirred his eggs.

“Please tell me you aren’t…” said Brigid.

“She’s a suuuuuuper freak, a su-huper freeeee-heeeeak! She’s suuuuper freaky…” Greg sang, buttering his toast.

“You are,” said Brigid, unable to escape the cold truth. “You’re singing ‘Super Freak’ in the style of Cold Play.”

“She will neeee-heeever let your spirits dooooown, once you geeeet her off the streee-heeet,” Greg sang, and poured himself a cup of coffee.

“I’m not sure who should be more offended, Rick James or Chris Martin.”

He glanced over at her, raised one eyebrow, then dug out a fork and knife. “Blow Danny!” he added, and commenced to chow down.

Brigid pointed at the knife block on the counter. “There’s a perfectly serviceable set of weapons right there,” she said. “No jury would convict me.”

“There’s sausage and egg left for you on the stove,” Greg replied.

She stared at him for a long second, blinking painfully. “Fine,” she said. “You live this time.”

“I feel strangely like Scheherazade sometimes,” Greg said, and went back to his breakfast.

-The Gneech

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Originally published at You can comment here or there.

Kero Confused

I'm My Own Grandpa (by Dwight Latham & Moe Jaffe)

Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her, and soon they too were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life:
my daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
and so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run
and he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue
because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
and every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
for now I have become the strangest case you ever saw:
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!

I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa!

-The Gneech
Maedhroc Salute

Maedhroc Thornhollow, World Renowned!


Okay, the idea of a world-famous hobbit seems a little strange, and it was a grindy, grindy deed. But he did it! As a bonus, I now have lots of extra rep items I can send along to my alts to make the rep grind a little less burdensome for them.

Maedhroc has been gradually collecting more stories to tell the folks back home, so fans of my “Life of a Bounder” series take heart: there will be more, hopefully soon! Right now I’ve been trying to rescue all the original entries from the RSS feed and repost them to, so I probably won’t actually make new posts to the series until that’s done.

Maedhroc_vs_GwathnorI have to get back in the habit of taking screenies! Maedhroc took on an elite Shadow Wolf named Burgul in Enedwaith solo and slapped him down quick — so quick that the body had de-rezzed before I even thought to take the screenshot. And with all the instance runs he’s been doing lately, it’s been getting harder to have a few seconds to catch a good shot. But I’ll keep trying! I did get manage to get this one, if you can make it out: it’s Maedhroc fighting the gigantic boss at the bottom of “New Devilry” and picking up his Shield Line capstone.

So it’s not like he hasn’t been busy! He just hasn’t been writing home to tell everyone about it like he should. But we’ll fix that, shan’t we! :)

-The Gneech

Originally published at You can comment here or there.