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June 26th, 2013

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In Which I Become Ready, Like Freddy

...whoever HE is.

So, in case you didn't see it, I quietly posted this yesterday. It's really just a placeholder, but since the link is on a piece of artwork I submitted to the AnthroCon conbook, I figured there'd better have something up there! :D

By some psychological mechanism of which I know not, putting up this little placeholder site broke the logjam in my brain that was going around and around on the problem of "Need to quit the day job" vs. "Don't want to lose the house!" Suddenly... it was okay. I remembered how much the new comic and all of my as-yet-unrealized writing goals meant to me, and stacked up against them, the house somehow lost its importance. Not that I don't still love this house, and not that I'm eager to have to sell and move, but that I'm no longer freaking out about it. (At least not right now!)

There were other factors: the relative ease and painlessness of the modifications/upgrades to my mom's house as well as our own, for instance, have assuaged my fears about getting stuck with a "fixer-upper" after having lived in this nicely-maintained place. I've also had a good, long think about the job, not just in terms of how it impacts me, but also in terms of how it impacts laurie_robey. As long as I remain there, I am something of an anchor that might keep her from making the move that she needs/wants to when the time is right. In that regard, my staying at the current job because I'm afraid to let go of the house suddenly seems quite selfish.

(I realize, there's something ironic about the idea that my not quitting my job and living on Laurie's salary could be selfish. But considering she was the one who brought up the notion of my doing so, I don't think it's an unreasonable assessment.)

Heck, it could all be rationalization, I dunno. The point is, I started organizing/packing stuff tonight. I'm ready to get moving... er, on moving. Instead of being afraid that I'm going to lose the house, I'm now quite excited about being able to write, work on my comics, and heck, even take care of the householdey stuff like cooking and laundry.

The cold feet are gone. The desire to kick ass and take names, remains.

-The Gneech

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