December 11th, 2013

Kero Confused

Domestic Abuse with Alvin and the Chipmunks

The Chipmunks are one of those things that people tend to love or hate; for myself, I was given the original "Christmas With the Chipmunks, Vols. 1 and 2" albums when I was a kid and am overall pretty fond of the little fuzzballs-- preferably in small doses mixed in with other things, but still.

"My" chipmunks are the originals, the 1960s versions from "The Alvin Show," but of course they've been squeaking their way into people's hearts more or less continuously since then. (Weird little tidbit: the personalities of Alvin and the Chipmunks map almost exactly to the Ghostbusters, with David Seville being either Winston or Janine depending on the circumstances.)

Anyway! The chipmunk formula, "precocious and troublemaking but adorable chipmunks driving producer and adoptive father Dave nuts as he tries to get them to perform songs straight" is cute and funny and all, except for one particular instance: a song from the 2008 album "Undeniable," called "Ho Ho Ho." This catchy little tune starts out as pretty normal chipmunk fare, except somewhere along the line, Dave has become an asshole.

Dave gets stressed by Christmas, it seems, not an unreasonable thing when you make your living by shilling your pets as rock stars who specialize in Christmas music, but he's strangely in denial about it. When the chipmunks comment on this stress, instead of acknowledging and dealing with it, he just gets angrier and angrier, barking at them to "suck it up" and reducing Theodore to tears with his yelling.

Suddenly... not so funny.

When does the hitting start, Dave? When do you start telling the chipmunks that you didn't want to but that they forced you to do it? This creepy-ass song is one stanza away from getting real ugly, real fast.

Guh. Definitely not what I want in my silly holiday novelty songs. Somebody burn that track with fire.

-The Gneech

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Ponies vs. Daleks, Season Two: The Cutiemark Crusaders!

Ponies vs. Daleks Season Two: Cutiemark Crusaders! by ~the-gneech on deviantART

It’s been a while, I know, but we’re back in business as the CMC try to get their timey-wimey cutiemarks! The dalek might actually stand a chance, this time…


-The Gneech

Originally published at You can comment here or there.