May 14th, 2014

Boot to the Head

In Which My Body Is STILL Trying to Kill Me

So, many long years ago, I had a courier job, and on said courier job I sustained an injury to my lower back which turned most of the muscles holding the base of my spine into shredded lettuce. And ever since then, every year or two, said injury flares up and makes my life difficult.

But it's been years since it was as bad as this. -.-

And it's about the time you're at the heart doctor for the followup on your cardioversion procedure because you needed to have your heart stopped and started again, apologizing for the cane you're gimping around on and explaining that your test results might be thrown off by the massive amounts of Advil and Aleve you're taking, that you begin to wonder if your body is actually trying to kill you, or wants to torture you first.

2014 has been a seriously crap year, the capstone so far of what's been a long line of crap years. How did my life get like this? It's like the universe has become an abusive parent, saying "Oh, you're depressed eh? I'll give you something to be depressed about!" Well fuck you, universe, I've got writing and art to do, I don't have time for your shenanigans.

So this week is all about fixing my broken life, and my one serious advantage here is that I am fortunate enough to be in a position to do so. Trip to the counselor, trip to the chiropractor, trip to the heart doctor, trip to the sleep specialist, trip to a financial advisor-- I have the resources for a strong support network, for which I'm immensely grateful. I can only imagine what life must be like for people who have problems like mine without having that to fall back on, and when I'm back out of crisis mode, I'm going to continue my efforts to do what I can to help people in that situation.

It can be an amazing world, but it can be a cruel one, too. It's up to us to try to maximize the benefits of the first, and mitigate the problems of the second.

-The Gneech

My tweets

Collapse )