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December 30th, 2014

Be Yourself! Just Not Like That.

I'm in a ranty mood this morning. I'm going to channel that pent-up energy into more productive things, but I do have a few thoughts I'd like to record somewhere.

Life, as has famously been observed, is short. Too damn short to go around second-guessing every thought you have and every goal you set for yourself. I wasted decades of my life trying to be anybody other than who I was, and that's time I'll never get back.

The reason I did that was purely my hyper-critical parents. Growing up, I was constantly told that I was an amazing, genius talent, but that somehow nothing I ever did was good enough. If I got good grades, they wanted to know why I didn't get perfect grades. If I got perfect grades, they wanted to know why I didn't do the extra credit. If I did the extra credit, they wanted to know why I was fat and not getting any exercise.

The clear message a child receives from a steady diet of this bullshit is "You are inherently wrong. It doesn't matter what you do, the fact that it's you doing it makes it bad."

Now as a fully-realized adult, I understand that the proper response is "Up yours with a wire brush!" But as a child, when it's your own parents doing this to you, you don't understand that it's just two screwed-up people operating in a tiny little sphere of influence. To you it's your whole world.

My parents are gone now, and as I say, I'm an adult and responsible for standing on my own feet, making my own decisions, and making my life be what I want it to be instead of just taking what's handed to me. Yes, those decades are gone and I can never have them back. But I do have right now, and I'm going to use it to its best possible purpose.

I'm gonna be me. They way I like me.

-The Gneech

My tweets

  • Mon, 12:03: RT @BadAstronomer: Holy… well, holy. Pope Francis is issuing an encyclical about taking action on climate change! http://t.co/A7tCrdUT8o
  • Mon, 12:39: Went through my contacts, updating addresses, consolidating entries, etc. Wrote “deceased” way too many times. :P
  • Mon, 12:40: Also realized I have no idea who half of these people are. O.o So I’ve started making notes.
  • Mon, 12:41: Think I’m going to add “organize and discipline my mind” to my new year’s resolutions. Including writing down birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
  • Mon, 12:42: Discovered some strange anomalies, like I have @graveyardgreg in here twice.
  • Mon, 12:43: Also, for some reason, almost everyone’s birthday is listed as being in 1971. What’s that about?
  • Mon, 13:21: At this stage, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to win Starbucks for life.
  • Mon, 13:23: Yes, but it’s finding that one entry that’s the hard part! //RT @DangerCoon: you only need one entry to win!
  • Mon, 13:29: RT @OwensDamien: The year is 2246. Disease and hunger have been eradicated. The terraforming of Mars is complete. The symbol for Save is st…
  • Mon, 13:42: http://t.co/iPG5c0cvso
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