John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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The End/Beginning of Everything

A feeling has been creeping up on me for a while now, and yesterday and today it's quite strong; it's a feeling I can only describe as "catastrophic." Not in the larger cosmic sense of forty years of darkness, the seas boiling, dogs and cats living together, but in a more personal sense. "My world" (as opposed to the world) is coming apart, and has been for some time. Hopefully this is the preamble to building a new "my world" from the ashes.

This doesn't have to be a bad thing-- there are large chunks of my world that I'm not happy with and would be happy to discard-- but it is a scary thing, regardless. Many of the people or things that I've lost were very precious to me and are irreplaceable. Many of the new people or things coming into my life seem ephemeral and frighteningly transient. The world is whizzing past and all I get are glimpses of something before it's gone again.

All I can do is hold on, keep my eyes open, and try to enjoy the ride. I am doing my best to nudge the trajectory so that I land in a good spot instead of crashing and burning... but without being able to see all ends, there's no way to know if I'll succeed or not until the time comes.

-The Gneech
Tags: deep thoughts, gneechy talk, moments
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