John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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The Worst! Possible! Thing!

So as I was putting on my shoes this morning, one of the laces– which had been threatening disaster for some time– gave up and snapped right in two. Fortunately, in the closet I have a basket of extra shoelaces and other footwear necessities for just such an emergency. But it was also a good thing that happened, because it prompted me to take a good look at the shoe, and discover a massive, ugly acid burn that I hadn't noticed. Last week sometime, while pumping gas, some of the nasty stuff dripped onto the shoe, and though I thought I had cleaned it up in time, it seems not. For a minute I thought the shoe was ruined.

Rarity-- Call the fashion police!

Now keep in mind, I love these shoes. Dressy enough to look sharp, but with a gum sole and as comfortable as any sneaker, these shoes are a major weapon in my dapperness arsenal. There was only one thing to be done! Break out the shoe polish and hope for a miracle!

I'm happy to say, the shoes were saved. :) But while I was sitting there furiously polishing, I started to wonder how many other guys there are out there who would a) be wearing a shoe like this in the first place, and b) would leap to the rescue if they found one damaged like that. I'm a writer/illustrator now, working from home on my own hours and as my own boss– I could spend the rest of my life in PJs if I wanted to, only pulling on pants for the occasional visit to Starbucks. According to the current mode of our culture, that's what I should want to do.

But I don't. Unless I'm in really dire straits, I make a point of "dressing for work" every day (even if I don't actually do it until lunchtime) and while it may be "biz cas," it's still a well-dressed "biz cas." For men especially, the bar of grooming and comportment has been set so damn low that just by doing what I consider the bare minimum, I'm still "dressed up" compared to almost everyone I meet.

My dad was of the opinion that a pocket tee was the only kind of shirt anyone should ever wear– with certain exceptions I won't wear a shirt that doesn't have at least three buttons on it. I asked for and was well pleased to receive a cordless iron from my in-laws for Christmas (and I use it regularly). Heck, I have a "shoe care emergency kit." Is all that stuff really as weird as I think it is? Or have I just been traveling in the wrong circles?

-The Gneech
Tags: sartorial agony
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