My health has been in decline over the past few years largely due to neglect– in the past year especially I had pretty much given up on all exercise, because I simply didn't have the mental bandwidth for it. My weight was stable, if stable at a "way too high" level (story of my life), but the ratio of fat to muscle was sliding further and further into the blubber side, pretty much ever since I left Sport & Health, and the weight machines therein.
So now as my life is slowly but perceptibly starting to calm down, one of my priorities is getting my health fixed. My back only goes out when I stop lifting weights, and my recent trip to the hospital was definitely not something I want to become a repeat performance. So last week, I used a "college weekly planner"-style grid to block out my work week, including putting specified, dedicated times for exercise.
Also, and this will be a much bigger change, laurie_robey and I are going to do an experiment: starting in July sometime and going for the next three months, we are going to be subscribing to the South Beach diet. Like, right down to the "pay to have them send us meals in frozen bags" level. We looked at the cost, and it's very close to our current food budget, so that's not an issue. More importantly, by both of us being on it, and by subscribing to the meal plan, we take a lot of the "having to think about it" aspect out of the picture. We are constantly going back and forth about "What do you want for dinner tonight? I dunno, what do YOU want?" and such, and we often end up making bad choices because we're tired, stressed, or just don't want to think about it. Hopefully, having a plan, and a plan that we're both committed to, will allow us to finally make some real progress there.
And if, after three months, it hasn't worked or we just can't stand it any more, we'll have an out.
I Am Not a (Party) Animal! ...But...
Let me be very clear here: I am fond of and very grateful for my friends. But last year, I lost one of my best friends ever (my sister from another mother) and daily chat companion to cancer, lost another life-long friend (or near as dammit) to a blood clot, lost another to heart failure, and had one recently-acquired but quite close friend move to the far side of the country.
This sudden dramatic scarcity in people to hang out with, combined with me leaving the office environment to work for myself, has left me isolated, lonely, and even more prone than I already was to depression.
I need more friends. :(
How am I going to make more friends? Damned if I know. I have always had trouble with that to begin with, and at my age, almost all of my peers are too busy chasing rugrats to have time hanging out drawing furry art or playing D&D or Cards Against Humanity.
But I'm going to give it my best try. I also want to just generally get out more and try some new things. I had my first ever frozen margarita the other day, I'm looking for invitations to things and events to go to, I'm trying to be aggressive about getting to conventions, and doing lots of things once I'm there. The past several years in general, and last year especially were all about taking care of my parents; I want to invest some more time into laurie_robey and me again. And while I was never a big partygoer, I do like to go to them sometimes.
I have a persistent fantasy of having a house full of very close roomies, four or five of us living in a big ol' place that none of us could afford individually, but that all of us can if we chip in. But it takes a very specific set of characteristics in a person that would make them a realistic candidate for such a thing, and I can count the number of people like that I've known over the course of my life on one, maybe two hands. Doesn't mean I don't still wish for it.
Speaking of Friends...
A lot of the friends I currently have are online, because they're scattered across the country, organized by interest. Unfortunately, by being on the east coast, I tend to go to bed just as they're starting to be active. This has lately frustrated me intensely. So a decision I've reached is that sometime in the not-too-distant future (not this year, probably, but within a few), is that a move to the west coast is becoming more likely than not. Kerry was always of the opinion that laurie_robey and I should live in Eureka, CA, and I must agree that her reasoning was sound as far as it went. However, I found myself surprisingly pleased with San Diego when I went there, like way more than I would have ever expected given my "Oh to be in New England!" dreams of youth.
So the details of that are still to be worked out, and it's not something that will happen right away. But it is still on my mind.
There Is More, But...
A lot of it is vague and probably not worth going into here. Fortunately, I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow, so hopefully I can get to some of it then. :) Meanwhile, gnite world, and have an awesome tomorrow.
PS: No Three Good Things/Three Goals tonight. This post is plenty. ;)