John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

In Which I Rant Again About Living in Mordor

WARNING: You may have heard this already. But it's my journal, you don't have to read it. ;P


Yesterday was a beautiful day. I mean yeah, we had to shovel snow, but it was 45° and bright sunshine, so shoveling snow wasn't so bad. Today, it is (northern Virginia, guess what!) overcast, no precip. The clouds are hanging heavy, the sunlight looks like bad fluorescents, and the sky is frankly claustrophobic. And, surprise surprise, I am fighting to keep myself from going into a mental nosedive. Again.

I resent being a slave to the weather. I am also angry at myself for not getting the message that this is what was actually going on for so long. There have been windows in my life when I could have relatively easily picked up and gone west with a minimum of pain and without forsaking obligations, but I didn't do it, because I didn't realize that a major factor in my lifelong battle with depression has been living in a place that only goes without some form of clouds/fog/haze 30% of the time.

I used to be affably bemused by mammallamadevil's and Sandy's obsession with sunshine and coastal environments, but now I've come to the conclusion that they were right and I was wrong. I just wish they were around so I could tell them so. :( If I had known in 1990 what I know now, I would have gone straight to California upon graduation without passing Go or collecting $200. I doubt my parents would have stood for it in 1986, and I'm not sure I would have been ready for the jump then anyway. I was a pretty pathetic little basket case back then.

Oh well. The first step of getting out of here is finishing the house sale, which is scheduled to happen within the next three weeks (which means we gotta pack, bigtime). Our current plan is to find a rental in our price range and spend 2015 going to the various places we're interested in checking out (so, no Dragon*Con this year, we'll need the time/money for other things).

In order to stay within reach of Laurie's parents we might end up doing an interim move to Richmond or somewhere in N.C., based on job availability vs. cost of living and whether it would be any more than a lateral move (Richmond is a little sunnier than northern VA, but the summers are much, much worse). My gut instinct is that we're more likely to stay here a little longer than to move to another city and then move west.

But Gawd, I have gotta get out of here.

-The Gneech
Tags: gneechy talk, rant
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