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A New Theory About Cats and Astrophysics

The fact that cats honor the laws of spacetime more in the breach than in the observance is old news. But what frankly astonishes me in regards to my own particular cats is that somehow, they poop out approximately double their own mass every four hours. Given that they are only given three ounces of food each in the morning and evening, this mass must come from somewhere.

It is therefore my theory that all that missing dark matter, presumably being sucked down black holes? Is actually reappearing in litterboxes across the universe.

It is, frankly, the only thing that makes sense.

-The Gneech

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
sirfox
May. 6th, 2015 09:26 pm (UTC)
you aren't counting all the spiders, crickets, and centipedes they're eating in between kibble-times.
westwind_mv
May. 7th, 2015 01:06 am (UTC)
My favorite observation about cats is: "An angry cat is not a discrete event in space-time." The Googles are failing me right now as to the source, but I've always treasured the sentiment.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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