John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey
the_gneech

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle O' Hair Tonic!

*banjo and squeezebox riff*

HAGGIS McMUTTON:
We're a band of vicious pirates!

EDWARD VAN HELGEN:
A sailin' out to sea!

CUTTHROAT BILL:
When you hear our gentle singin'

HAGGIS:
You'll be sure to turn and flee!

GUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD:
*groan* This is just ridiculous.

Come on, men! We've got to recover that map!

BILL:
That pirate'll be done-for when he falls into our trap!

We're a club of tuneful rovers!

HAGGIS:
We can sing in every clef!

VAN HELGEN:
We can even hit the high notes!

HAGGIS:
It's just too bad we're tone deaf!

PIRATES CHORUS:
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!


GUYBRUSH:
Let's go defeat that evil pirate!

VAN HELGEN:
We know he's sure to lose, 'cause we know just where to fire it!

We're thievin' balladeers!

HAGGIS:
A gang of cut-throat mugs!

BILL:
To fight us off you won't need guns!

VAN HELGEN:
Just jolly good earplugs!

PIRATES CHORUS:
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!


GUYBRUSH:
All right, crew. Let's get to work!

HAGGIS:
Our vocation's a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk!

We'll fight you in the harbor!

BILL:
We'll battle you on land!

VAN HELGEN:
When you meet singing pirates--

GUYBRUSH:
They'll be more than you can stand!

BILL:
Oh, ho, ho! That was a good one!

GUYBRUSH:
No, it wasn't.

No time for song, we've got to move!

BILL:
The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!

We're a pack of scurvy sea dogs!

HAGGIS:
But we pity not a dram!

VAN HELGEN:
We all eat roasted garlic!

HAGGIS:
And sing from the diaphram!

PIRATES CHORUS:
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!


GUYBRUSH:
Less singing, more sailing!

VAN HELGEN:
When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!

BILL:
If ye try to fight us--

HAGGIS:
You will get a nasty whackin'!

VAN HELGEN:
If you disrespect our signing--

HAGGIS:
We will feed you to a kraken!

PIRATES CHORUS:
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!


GUYBRUSH:
I'm getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming!

HAGGIS:
We're ready to set sail, tho' the cannons need a-priming!

VAN HELGEN:
We're troublesome corsairs!

BILL:
And we've come to steal your treasures!

HAGGIS:
We would shoot you on the downbeat--

VAN HELGEN:
But we've gotta rest five measures!

PIRATES CHORUS:
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!


GUYBRUSH:
Stop! Stop! Stop!

BILL:
The brass is what we'll polish, and the deck is what we'll mop!

GUYBRUSH:
You say you're nasty pirates,
scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers?
From what I've seen, I tell you
you're not pirates, you're just slackers!

PIRATES CHORUS:
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!


GUYBRUSH:
We'll surely avoid scurvy, if we all eat an orange.

HAGGIS:
And ... umm...

BILL:
Well...

VAN HELGEN:
Uh...

BILL:
"Door hinge?"

VAN HELGEN:
No, no...

BILL:
Guess the song's over, then.

HAGGIS:
Guess so.

VAN HELGEN:
*sigh* Okay, back to work.

GUYBRUSH:
Well gee, I feel a little guilty, now...
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