John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey
the_gneech

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Brick Walls Are Better Listeners

CHATTER: Is anything in the world better than butter pecan ice cream? I think it's just about the perfect flavor.

ME: It's okay.

CHATTER: I could just sit and eat butter pecan ice cream for days and days.

ME: Well, glad you enjoy it.

CHATTER: Butter pecan is just the best.

ME: I kinda like mint chocolate chip.

CHATTER: I went to the ice cream store just the other day and when they asked me what I wanted, I said, "Butter pecan, it's gotta be! Lay it on me!"

ME: I bet you did. Do you like pie at all?

CHATTER: They had really good butter pecan, too. Sweet, but not TOO sweet, with just the perfect hint of nutty, buttery flavor. It was really, really good!

ME: *sigh* Oh yes?

CHATTER: Yup! I like butter pecan from the grocery store, too, but not as much as this butter pecan I had the other day.

ME: Well, I'm glad it was good butter pecan. I guess you don't like pie, then?

CHATTER: A few weeks ago, I went to a place that had what they SAID was butter pecan, but the nuts in it seemed more like walnuts, to me. I think they must have been walnuts!

ME: ...

CHATTER: Can you believe it? Walnuts!

ME: I have a great big squid in my refrigerator. It cost me 99 cents per pound.

CHATTER: I said to them, "Why are you calling this butter pecan? It has walnuts in it!"

ME: There once was a man from Nantucket...

CHATTER: "You should call it 'butter walnut!'" They looked at me like I was crazy.

ME: No!

CHATTER: Butter-walnut-selling scum! I demanded my money back.

ME: I'd like coffee and a sweet roll.

CHATTER: What does that have to do with anything?

ME: Nothing, really.

CHATTER: It's like you're not even listening to me!

ME: Sorry.

-The Gneech
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  • My tweets

    Thu, 12:05: RT @ eddieschneider: Forget "power sharing" -- expel Hawley and Cruz for their role in the insurrection. https://t.co/Nbm06pxaVj…

  • My tweets

    Tue, 12:05: Uuuuuugh, it’s Adora’s birthday but I have to stop binge-rewatching #SheRaAndThePrincessesOfPower so I can concentrate and get…

  • My tweets

    Mon, 12:25: RT @ clarkvalentine: This sentiment is the core of the objections to the 2020 election results. People ranting about non-existent…