John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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Yesterday, I was fine until about 5:00, then I suddenly felt all of my energy and enthusiasm just suck right out of me. This morning, I couldn't drag myself out of bed for a long time, and when I finally did, I was completely bummed out.

Right now, I just feel discouraged, about everything. I want to work on my writing, but I need to do my comics first. I want to work on my comics, but I have commissions to do. I want to work on my commissions, except I want to try out techniques from this new book I got first ... and so on. Everything I want to do, has something else to do first in front of it; the net result is that I just want to turn around and go back to bed.

Most of all, I NEED A BLOODY JOB ... but nobody wants me. Tons of resumes sent out ... only a handful of interviews ... and no second calls. The only people who wanted me were Eddie Bauer, and that was only so I'd buy their clothes while I worked on the floor. Works out to be free labor for them, basically.

I have what were three years ago very desirable skills. Now, I've got nothing. I basically have to start my career completely over from scratch ... and I have no idea where to go, and no clue what I want to do. I don't want to go back to the beginning -- I have things I want to do, places I want to go, projects I want to complete. Going back to square one means taking crap salary again, and having to regain everything I spent the past 10 years getting to. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACKWARDS, DAMMIT!

I feel ripped off.

-The Gneech
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