John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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From "Saturday Night Fry"

Just to make your day a little more surreal...

Emma Thompson: You see? They can hear nothing but normal radio output! Your plan has failed, Don Mackelwaine!

Hugh Laurie: Wrong, Jenny Flemisto! They're listening to us now!

Emma Thompson: What! How? How did you -- no one could have interfered with my broadcast projection like that! No one! Unless--

Hugh Laurie: Unless they had taken Floric-19, too? Yes! You've met your match, Jenny Flemisto! Meet--


Barry Cryer: Barry Cryer!

Emma Thompson: But you--! I--! That is I--!

Barry Cryer: Following the instructions on your lab tapes I formulated the serum and injected myself with it!

Emma Thompson: I--! That is you--! I never--! They--! But surely--!

Barry Cryer: Instead of turning into a woman, I turned into Barry Cryer! I may have left out some vital ingredient, but don't underestimate me! I am packed with strange powers! Amongst my supernatural gifts, I have the remarkable ability to find something suggestive and naughty in anything you say!

Emma Thompson: But that's extraordinary!

Barry Cryer: Extraordinary? At my age it's a miracle!

Emma Thompson: But it's horrifying!

Barry Cryer: It is horrifying, isn't it? I'll put it away! There, you see what I mean? A lewd ambiguity for every occasion!

Emma Thompson: You're having me on.

Barry Cryer: No, but it's an idea.

Emma Thompson: You can keep this up indefinitely?

Barry Cryer: Are you sure you want me to answer that?

Emma Thompson: All right, if you can twist any remark I might make, try this! Er ... buttercup!

Barry Cryer: Buttock up, buttock down! Buttock up, buttock down! And rest. Thank you madam!

Emma Thompson: Curses, that was too easy! I'll try another. Anti-tank missile!

Barry Cryer: You flatter me. But you should see it when it's angry!

Emma Thompson: I don't get it.

Barry Cryer: I'll soon put a stop to that!

Emma Thompson: My God, you have actually become Barry Cryer! You double-entendres are staggering!

Barry Cryer: Only when I cough.

Emma Thompson: Well if you really are Barry Cryer, would you mind signing this? It's for my children.

Barry Cryer: I don't remember ordering any children!

Emma Thompson: I can have them biked over to you tomorrow. The youngest is allergic to eggs. Apart from that, they should be no trouble. Please sign for them, there's a dotted line on the bottom, there.

Barry Cryer: There's a novelty!

Emma Thompson: Well, quite!

-Written by Stephen Fry and Shamelessly Transcribed by The Gneech
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