John "The Gneech" Robey (the_gneech) wrote,
John "The Gneech" Robey

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Ghost of Cereals Past

Tonight I found the "Monster Three Pack" at BJs ... consisting of a bag of Count Chocula, a bag of Franken Berry, and a bag of that rarest of things, Boo Berry!

To give you an idea of the significance of this, the last time I ate Boo Berry, I think it was the Ford Administration. Although it might have been Jimmy Carter by that point.

Y'see, I was allergic to chocolate as a child -- which is a rotten trick for Mother Nature to play on anybody, if you ask me. So I became intimately acquainted with all of the cereals (and or powdered milk drinks) that were in some way fruit flavored -- which mostly meant strawberry.

Strawberry milk. Strawberry candy. Strawberry cereal. Strawberry ice cream. If it was something that should have been chocolate, and it was available in strawberry, I had strawberry.

I came to hate strawberry with a loathing that sometimes frightens me even today.

But Boo Berry was different! Boo Berry, as clearly indicated by the pale blue countenance of the vaguely-squashed looking ghost on the box, was blueberry! Something -- anything -- not strawberry! Saints be praised!

But then, suddenly, Boo Berry started disappearing from store shelves. By sometime in the mid '70s, Boo Berry had been withdrawn to a handful of stores -- none of which were the single Safeway or the occasional A&P that made up my parents' grocery-shopping world. (Or the so-called "health stores" where my mom would buy nasty runny peanut butter, carob which she swore up and down tasted just like chocolate but actually tasted like sand with sugar in it, and more vitamin pills than you'd need to choke a horse. But I digress.)

So you can imagine my glee at discovering Boo Berry, alive and well and haunting the local BJs. :)

Now if only they could resurrect that victim of misguided Political Correctness, "Buckwheats." That was possibly the single greatest breakfast cereal ever made.

Here's a clue, ya bastiges: the "Our Gang" character that gets people's panties in a bunch was named after the grain, not the other way around! Grrrrr! >.< Talk about a witch hunt.

-Penelope Throckmorton*

*Still using fake names today.
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